The LAST car I ever sold

            So in my time as an internet sales manager at a Ford store I had a lot of strange contacts.  You would think that people who are trying to save time by conducting most of the transaction online would want to keep things simple.  On the contrary most of the people who started shopping for a car online made it more complicated and challenging than if they would have just stopped in and said hello.

            Having said that there are certain times when you simply can’t help but make it more complicated than it needs to be.  For example, if you’re in an active combat zone and you’re trying to buy a car for a surprise visit stateside.  That is where the last car I will ever sell started.

            I got an email lead one day through our USAA lead source.  I took special care of these leads as they were usually members of our armed forces or their families.  Regardless I respect what they do for our country and wanted to give them every possible courtesy as thanks for their sacrifices.

            The email I got was from a young man who wanted to buy a black on black California special Mustang GT 5.0, manual we had on the lot.  It was one hell of a sexy looking car and from the day it showed up I kept checking in on it whenever it was within eye sight.

            The USAA pricing made things super easy for us.  At the time it also meant that I was only going to make $150 on the deal because of the overly aggressive pricing my (now fired) GM had put on these deals.  The price was the price and the rest was just pushing paperwork through.

            At first it was emails back and fourth making sure the car had the right features and options.  I noticed the emails had “declassified” on them and made it a point to jokingly ask my customer what was going on.  He told me he was in a forward operating base in Afghanistan and the emails had to go through a screening process to make sure he wasn’t giving out intelligence. 

            Finally after several emails I told the young Marine he was welcome to call me, day or night, either at the dealership or on my cell phone.  I know he would only get a small window to do so and I worked crazy hours so something had to line up.

            The next day I get a phone call from a “kid” with lots of “yes sir” and “no sir” answers…I knew right away it was the Marine.  He told me he wanted to buy the car and drive it to his sisters wedding in 3 months as a surprise.  I told him what we would need to do in order to make that happen with power of attorney and a deposit.  As soon as I said “deposit” he said “oh shit” and abruptly hung up.

            Not having a way to call him back I wrote him an email and explained the steps on what he needed to do.  The next morning I returned to work to find a reply in my inbox saying “sorry about that…we were taking mortars and I had to get to cover.  Is the car still there?!”.  I sat staring at my screen for a few minutes letting that sink in.  This “kid” was more concerned about blowing his mustang deal than he was getting killed by mortar rounds.

            His mom had to get in the mix as the stateside power of attorney and she collaborated with me to send all the documents we needed.  When we had the paperwork together I told him all we needed now was the deposit.  I got 3 emails in rapid succession with his credit card info on them.  About an hour later I get a call from him.  “Hey did you get those emails?  I was in my can, on a toilet, with the fob out the vent hole, trying to get a wifi signal while we took more rounds.  F@$kin’ Taliban”  (“can” was the concrete bunker he lived in.  Apparently there was a vent hole they Marines figured out had a wifi signal if you could see the communication bunker)  He had been hitting the send button over and over again to make sure the email got sent.

            At this point the car was his.  We sent a courier up to his family in South Dakota to discretely have his mom sign the paperwork.  His dad, a long haul trucker was on the road at the time so it was perfect.  The Marine emailed me saying his dad would be in Omaha that weekend dropping off a load of cattle and he wanted to see the car.  “Now remember, my dad doesn’t know I’ve already bought the car so just act like I’m still considering it.”  I agree to meet his dad on Sunday, when the dealership was closed, to take him for a ride.

            Sure enough Sunday afternoon his dad pulls up in a truck with a load of cattle.  If you’ve never smelled someone who hauls cattle before it takes a few days to get it out of your nose and mouth.  It’s a very “earthy” smell and I knew this going in…but this guys story had me hooked.  We took a test drive and his dad smiled the whole time, he was loving every second of the drive.  “Well shit…guess I’m not a Camero guy anymore!”  I parked the car and told him we’d have to get back in touch with his son and see if we could work out numbers.

            I put a sign in the cars windshield for the next 3 months.  “Welcome Home Marine  SOLD”  We made it a point to walk people past the car to show them how we took care of our armed forces.  I kept the keys in my desk and had him send me a letter stating I was allowed to retain ownership and/or operate the vehicle as needed to facilitate his ownership.  I didn’t want my “evil” manager or my less than bright GM saying I stole the car.  At this point I had also made up my mind to quit after I delivered the car to the Marine.

            The final week rolled around and I get flight times for his arrival into the Omaha Airport.  Friday at 1pm I was going to deliver the car and then on my return to the dealership I was going to quit.  I told a friend of mine the night before for some reason and she told my GM the next morning.

            Friday morning rolls around and I’m rather chipper knowing I’m hours away from being done.  Our GM calls an all sales meeting after his morning beating of the other managers.  He went through the room checking our schedules making sure we had coverage and then dismissed everyone except me and 2 of the other managers.  “I know today is your last day…I’ve known this for some time.”  He said.  (total lie and just positioning)  We go through a laundry list of things about how I’m doing, what’s wrong, where am I going…etc.  My responses by the way were:  “I’m pissed off every day and taking sleeping aides at lunch to calm down”, “I make $150 a car with the internet pricing you put in place so I’m broke”, and “I have NO IDEA but at least its not here”.

            I but a great big bow on top with a middle finger with this one, “I would have quit 3 months ago but I promised a Marine in Afghanistan I’d pick him up in his Mustang at the airport so he can surprise his family.  (I actually had the letter in my pocket stating I could do this…just in case)  I made a promise to a man who is fighting a war…I intend to keep it.  His flight gets in at 1pm…then I’m done.”

            He makes a few more petty attempts to keep me on and I blow it off.  As I’m walking out one of the other managers shakes my hand and said “that was awesome”.  (he quit a month or two later as well)  I was “allowed” to deliver the car but wasn’t supposed to return afterward.  A lot porter and friend of mine helped me get my car downtown to my place and give me a ride back so I had nothing left there.

            I got in the Mustang and drove it to the airport later that day.  I’m not sure if it was the sense of finally being free of the nightmare that was that job or if it was the V8 under my foot…but that drive felt amazing!  I pulled up to the gate right as I got a text from the Marine.  “Out front”

            He wasn’t hard to miss on the street.  “Jarhead” haircut, built like a brick shit house, and holding a green duffle bag over his shoulder.  I revved the engine a few times as I entered the concrete “canyon” where you pick people up.  The smile on this guys face said it all.

            “Corporal, I believe this is your car sir.”  As he walked over a group of guys blurted out “NICE CAR BUDDY!!!”  “Its his…as of right now.”  And with that I put the keys in his hand and shook the other.

            He spent the next 5 minutes in awe.  So much so that the airport police told us we had to leave and I had to drive because he hadn’t driven stick in a few years.  I drove it like I owned it…but I definitely gave the car an opportunity to show what it could do.

            We pulled up outside my girlfriends condo downtown.  I showed him how to work everything and paired his phone.  I gave him a few recommendations on places to eat in town if he was hungry and pointed him in the direction of the interstate to get driving to his sisters wedding.  “How will you get home sir?” he said as I closed the door from outside.

            “Actually I’m going to walk home…I quit this morning.  This is the last car I will ever sell.  I made you a promise 3 months ago and have been waiting for this day.  Now have a safe trip home Marine, enjoy your family.” 

After a few “seriously!??!” comments and he realized I was serious about the whole deal he got out of the car, walked around to my side and gave me what I can only describe as the most profoundly grateful handshake I have ever had. 

As I walked the few blocks back to my apartment I heard the sound of a 5.0 V8 coming dangerously close to the redline and a less than perfect shift into 3^rd disappear onto the onramp of the interstate.

Months later when he was home for good, I got a sheepish text from him asking how to reset his phone in the car.  He apparently didn’t feel right calling the dealership and asking them how to do it.  Honestly, I was just glad to hear the guy was home safe so I had no problem helping out one last time.

So why post this in this blog?  Its simple, integrity.  I worked in an industry where everyone…I mean EVERYONE thinks you’re a crook or you’re lying.  It is one of the reasons I got so angry all the time.  When I told them something I wasn’t lying…it was the truth, but was called a liar on an hourly basis in many different ways.  Other salespeople may not have had the integrity to do the right thing and help this kid buy the car.  It took months, logistics were a nightmare, and I jumped through more hoops than any other deal I did as a car salesman.  But at the end of the day I made that Marines dream come true and his family got a moment that can never be recreated.  Me…the lying cheating no good car salesman…a man of integrity did that.  Whenever I think back to all the horrible things I experienced in my time as a car salesman they all go away when I think of that black on black California special Mustang GT.

Packing Heat at work

            Several years ago I got my concealed carry permit.  For the sake of this blog we’ll glass over the reasons why I have it to avoid some political issues.  …after all it’s a blog about sales, and its free…so you’ll get what you pay for.

            When I interviewed at the Ford dealership I worked at for a few years I had just started carrying my pistol every day.  Not only did I interview with a loaded handgun but when I filled out all the HR paperwork I used my CCW permit as a second form of ID.  (It was still in the stage where you feel like everyone should know you carry a firearm)

            After a few months most of the people at the dealership knew I always had a loaded gun on me.  When we had unruly customers or “shady” visitors in the dealership I found myself becoming increasingly more popular to talk to. 

            A few of my managers gave me grief for having it and I jokingly replied, “I do the one thing your mom told you NEVER do repeatedly ALL DAY…get into cars with strangers!”  We all kind of laughed it off and it was no big deal for 98% of the people I worked with.  As a matter of fact many of my co-workers mentioned how glad a “level headed” guy had a gun in the dealership should anything go horribly wrong.

            Rather than breaking these stories out into individual blogs I’ll just sum up the highlights of carrying a loaded firearm into work.

NSA CUSTOMER:

A self proclaimed “NSA Contractor” customer who told me on the test drive his previous job included “jumper cables, sponges, a metal folding chair, and a car battery” was giving me the run around one night.  He claimed he didn’t have credit because he was a ghost in another country and yadda yadda… 

We finally get ready to sit down an talk numbers on the used, high mileage, Volvo SUV he fell in love with and he says, “Before we begin…you need to realize you don’t know what I have under the table.”  And he motioned down with his eyes as he leaned back with a smirk and crossed his legs.

At first I thought the guy was referring to his penis.  (not kidding)  But after a few seconds and a few other leading comments I realized he was indicating he had a firearm.  I laughed and said, “Are we really playing ‘what are we packing’ at the dealership?”

His grin turned into a smile.  I said, “I’ve got 15 and 1 of 120 grain 9mm Hornady Critical Defense +P…what do you have?”  (serious business with lots bullets)  His grin disappeared and he shrank a little in his seat.   “I’ve got 7 rounds of 380…” (might do some damage if you hit the right spot at close range) 

We ended up not coming to terms because he had no credit…and no money to put down on the car.  If I had to guess it was a guy who’s wife and kids were out of town and he wanted to play badass at a dealership.

ANGRY COP

            I got pulled over while on a test drive with a family in an Explorer Sport.  The cop had been pulling over anyone without a tag from out dealership all week and I guess it was my turn to get caught.

            When he approached the car I had my window down and told him I was the salesman.  He angrily instructed me to head to the back of the vehicle, and I complied. 

            Now when you have a concealed carry you’re obligated to notify law enforcement you have a weapon immediately.  Once you tell them you have a weapon, and don’t make sudden movements, you’re also obligated to comply with their commands.  These can include everything up to being temporarily put into handcuffs.

            “GOD DAMNIT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW STUPID YOU ARE!?!?!?!”  he had apparently been building up a head of steam and started to vent.  “I told you guys to put dealer plates on these cars…”

            Every time he took a breath I put my hand up, as if to speak, and said “Officer…I need…” and he went back into his tyrade.  After 4 or 5 attempts to speak while he threatened to do all kinds of things that would suck I finally gently placed my hand on his shoulder.  “Officer, I’m legally obligated to tell you I have my concealed carry on my right hip…its loaded…and my permit is in my front jacket pocket.  How would you like to proceed?”

            He literally locked up for a few seconds.  When he finally processed I hadn’t been arguing with him this whole time I was trying to tell him I had a loaded gun on me his tone changed.  “Get in the car.  Drive back to the dealership…now.”

            We got back to the dealership and I introduced him to my “evil” manager who got the ass chewing of a lifetime.  When the cop came out I stopped him and apologized for our interaction and thanked him for not writing me a ticket. 

            My “evil” manager asked how I got out of the ticket everyone else in the dealership had got that month.  “Easy, I told him what I legally had to tell him and he let me off.” 

            “What did you ‘have’ to tell him?”  He asked in a snarky and condescending tone.  I replied, “That I have a concealed firearm that’s loaded…”  and with that my “evil” managers face went white.  My “good” manager let out a belly laugh and said, “You moron…Trowbridge is always packin’ heat…you can see it when his shirt comes untucked!!!”

FIRED PTSD CO-WORKER

            This one pisses me off to this day.  But they fired, for the second or third time, a guy in my department.  He was definitely a bit “off” and had a military background.  He claimed to be special forces but many of us had our doubts based on things he said.

            One day I was delivering a car and I get a call from my General Manager.  “Justin, do you have your gun on you today?”  I replied “yes”  “…does ______ have a gun that you know of?”  He in fact had a handgun in his truck.  “…where are you by the way?”

            I found out when I got back that my co-worker had been fired.  Not “let go” but shit canned…hard…and with no remorse.  HR was there because it was a bad situation all around.  My genius GM wanted me back in the dealership to protect the place should he return with his gun.

            After I regained the ability to speak I told him “I don’t like you well enough to shoot my former co-worker to protect your ass.  If you have a problem or a concern like that CALL THE POLICE FIRST!!!!”

            After they fired my co-worker they went to a “gun free zone” and almost lost half of the people who worked there.  My somewhat unstable co-worker has been rehired and refired a few times from there as well.

            The crazy part of it all was the times I really struggled to connect to my customers the subject that dropped the walls was firearms.  It could have been anything from hunting to handguns to carrying concealed…but when it came time to talk about firearms I sold a car.  A few of my customers even sent me photos of their latest purchases after they were driving the car for a few months!

            The lesson learned here is to never underestimate the person on the other side of the table.  I found out that more often than I expected I was dealing with an armed person.  It may have been the location in somewhat rural Nebraska, but there are a lot of people who support the second amendment.  Sometimes its best to treat everyone you meet like they’re packin’…you might get an unexpected sale out of the conversation.

The power of merchandising, and a scary looking power tool

            In my time as a wine and spirit distributor I had a blast merchandising my territory to sell more alcohol.  Its no surprise the reason Budweiser sells so much beer is because everywhere you look you see their logos.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the more your brands are seen in a location the more likely they will be purchased, and then reordered by your customer.

            With that in mind I started to cover my territory with point of sale materials.  At one point I was actually yelled at for taking out too much point of sale materials from the warehouse!  My manager at the time laughed and told the vice president who wanted to write me up “you’re going to write him up for doing what nobody else is doing?”  and after a long pause the subject was dead.

            He was right, we had TONS of stuff sitting in the warehouse collecting dust that nobody was using.  So, being a resourceful person, I started taking everything I could get my hands on and using it to promote my stuff.

            One of my favorite accounts was a marina on the river just north of town.  The place wasn’t much to look at but it was a great summer hangout for locals and boaters going up and down the river.  They sold a ton of drinks and until I showed up hadn’t really had anyone supporting them from my company.

            I brought up anything island themed I could find in the warehouse.  Fake palm trees, inflatable beach balls, necklaces, blinking lights, you name it.  The industry term for some of the smaller items is/was “trinkets and trash” by the way.  I billed out a few bar kits with other supporting items like shirts and table tents.

            After I get their attention they let me decorate the entire bar with whatever I wanted!  They were selling my stuff like it was going out of style and the orders were starting to show it.

            I billed out a few bar mirrors and took them up with a box of 6” long deck screws.  As I was driving in the screws with my cordless drill the owner came up.  “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!”  I finished the one screw I was working on and turned to her.

            “I figure someone is going to steal these mirrors…they’re nice right?”  She nodded.  “So…if some drunk wants to back 36 inches of deck screws with a dime or their bare fingers…they can have this.”  With that the shocked look on her face turned into a smile and she began to laugh.

            “You’ve got a point!”  and with that she walked off to tell the rest of the staff the story.

            After a few bar parties and a few weeks of proving I was there to stay it came time to pitch the big pitch.  They finally trusted me with their signature drink recipe and wanted to see if we could make it cheaper for them.  In their hay days they would take 55 gallon trash cans and mix up 5-6 at a time to keep up with demand.

            I worked out the numbers and grabbed my Black & Decker reciprocating saw with a 10” blade on it.  The day I decided to make the big pitch I happened, not entirely on accident, to show up when my biggest competitor showed up.  I was planning on stealing one of his biggest accounts for rum.  At the time they happened to use Captain Morgan Parrot Bay for their coconut flavored rum…I sold Malibu.

            I sauntered into the bar and saw my competitor walking through a normal shelf order, a few bottles here and there.  After nodding to him I pulled up a chair at the bar and pulled out my reciprocating saw and dropped it on the bar.  I went about my business and ignored the two of them while he hurried up his final few points.  He made a back handed comment about my saw and left, seemingly unconcerned about what I was doing.

            The bar manager asked “What the hell is that for?” and I told him not to worry about it.  I went about pointing out the half empty bottles on the bar and seeing what he needed.  “No, seriously…what the hell is that for?”  He kept breaking the conversation to ask, each time I pushed on with the normal order.  “DAMNIT…WHAT IS THAT THING DOING ON MY BAR!?!?!” 

            I smiled and said “Well you know what this is right?”

            “Yeah, it’s a Black & Decker power saw…”  I slapped the tool like it was a good dog.

            “And how did you know what it was?”  I asked.

            “Everybody knows Black & Decker…its one of the biggest names in power tools…”  I nodded.

            “So if everybody knows the quality, the reputation, and the pedigree that comes with this brand what does it say about someone who uses it?”  I asked.

            “It means you know what the f*@k you’re doing…”  I smiled.

            “So if you use a knock off brand what does that make you?”  and with that I leaned in to hear his response.

            “It means you’re a moron…”  he threw back with an indignant tone in his voice.

            “Ok…so if all that’s true…why are you NOT putting Malibu Coconut rum in your main drink?  It’s the original coconut rum everyone knows…”  and in the middle of the somewhat corny response his jaw went slack.  “Captain Morgan is a cheap knock off brand that imitates Malibu.  I know it, you know it, your customers now it.  If they cost the same per ounce what would you choose?  Better yet, if I could get you a better deal on the original brand and support it with island themed signs and other fun stuff for the bar do you think you’d sell more?”

            I’ll spare you how the rest of this interaction went and get to the punch line.  The next week the very same VP who wanted to write me up for taking out too much point of sale materials called me to make sure I hadn’t made a huge mistake on an order.  “Justin I’m looking at 3 ½ pallets of product going to a Marina in your territory…did you mean to put in bottles and instead hit cases?  We need to cancel this order before it goes out!” 

            I wish I could have been there to see the look on his face when I said, “Nope…no mistake…all $12,000 of that order needs to ship.  They’re on the way with 3 trucks now to pick it up.  We may need a refill by the end of the summer too.”  My little stunt with the power saw had sealed the deal to switch over everything in the bar they could to me.  I went from 15% market share in the bar to 75% or more because of the volume we were now doing.

            Unfortunately the bar ended up on some hard times later that summer.  The owners son was found dead in the bed of his pickup truck, he had aspirated on his own vomit.  The bar manager who was sleeping with the owner had ran off and the “kids” who ran the bar had left without warning.  1/3 of the order had to come back to avoid losing it to the bank in the bankruptcy.

            The VP never got on my case for merchandising again.  Suppliers actually started asking me what I wanted to put up in my territory directly!  Never underestimate the power of brand awareness.

The smelly truck that sold - Good Manager story #2

            So I tipped my old manager off that I was writing a “compare and contrast” blog between his management style and my other manager while in the car industry.  True to form he was very thankful of the praise but humble in his response.  With that kind of attitude I was reminded of a deal I got caught in the middle of.

            In the auto industry the “holy grail” for some guys is a diesel truck with a stick shift.  Why major auto makers don’t offer this anymore is beyond me, they sold like crazy with HUNDREDS of thousands of miles on the odometer.  We happened to have a truck like this in inventory one week.

            The demand for these trucks are so high this truck had a unique story to it.  A tree had fallen on it during a storm.  The tree had dented the fenders, roof, door, and broken out some lights on the flat bed on the back.  (no rails just a flat metal surface)  But rather than fix it we left it as is and sold it that way.  The phone rang off the hook for days on this truck.

            I finally got ahold of a guy who wanted the truck.  He had a truck that was 2 years older and used it for work.  He was a (legit) professional cowboy in North Platte NE.  He was a pen rider in the cattle yards and spent his entire day in the saddle on horseback.  In his spare time he made and sold saddles!  His truck had the smaller engine offered by Dodge and was an automatic.

            “You realize a tree fell on this thing right?”  I said skeptically over the phone.  “Yup, don’t care…its perfect!  I’ll take it!” you could hear the excitement in his voice.  So we worked out the deal over the phone and because he was a nice guy I offered to meet him half way between Omaha and North Platte.  Cutting his 5 hour drive to 2 ½ and meeting him on a Sunday to boot!

            My finance manager dragged his feet on getting the paperwork for me all week and finally handed them to me on Saturday night.  I looked through the paperwork and noticed a $1800 charge for undercoating on the truck.  When I asked him about it he said “Don’t worry about it…it helps her hit her number for the month.  You’re good…just get him to sign it.”  “Her” in this case was our aftermarket specialist who was making money for nothing and had her own issues.

            “(Expletives deleted) you’re giving me a hot deal for me to deal with, on a Sunday, knowing I have to drive a truck that has been used in a cattle ranch back to Omaha?!?!?”  And, he laughed…she laughed too…they thought it was hilarious and I was stuck with nobody left in the building to change the documents.

            That night I happened to spend some time with my (good) manager outside of work.  He could see that something was bugging the hell out of me and when he asked it came spewing out of me.  I could see he was also pissed about the situation as he had worked hard to put the deal together on his end.

            I decided to take the truck out there and present the information to him.  In the back of my head I knew we could always amend the paperwork and send him the papers in the mail.  I left the next day for my all day affair in the trucks.

            About 30 minutes into the drive an alarm went off in the truck.  The diesel particulate filter was (apparently) full and the truck went into “limp mode” where it “limps” into a dealership to be fixed.  In a panic I get on my phone and try to figure out what the hell happened, only to have my phone die…with no charger.

            I get to town a little early and stop by 3 different auto stores seeing if they can fix it.  They weren’t any help and in the process the drivers side window got stuck open.  Apparently the damage to the door wasn’t allowing it to roll back up.

            After taking a deep breath and buying a charger for my phone I drove over to the truck stop to meet my customer.  He shows up with his wife and kids.  The little boy gets out, in full cowboy attire, and runs up to his new truck and calls “SHOTGUN”. 

We walk around the truck and he’s in love.  I show him the damage spots and he’s ok with them because they’ll probably get beat up when he uses it.  He even knows how to fix the window and isn’t worried about it.  The diesel particulate filter isn’t even a problem for him because he’s got a diesel guy at the yard who can fix it! 

After introducing me to the family and walking around the truck I ask him if they were doing anything else in town while they were here.  “We’ll probably grab a bite to eat since they’ve got restaurants we don’t have in our town”

            “Lets go do the paperwork at Buffalo Wild Wings then!”  The family blows up with excitement… “On me as a thank you because of the window thing too”

            After a lunch I’ll never forget where I learn more about cows than I’ll ever need to know I hand him the papers.  He signs them all and reads through everything.  He even puts his finger on the $1800 charge but doesn’t say a word, my heart breaks.  We wrap up the paperwork and I swap keys with him.  The kids give me a hug and he gives me the kind of solid handshake you would expect to come from a solid guy like this.

            His trade had at least 1” of “dirt” on the inside along with horse hair, cow hair, dog hair, and god knows what.  I drove home with the windows open so I could see through the tears in my eyes.  Oh yeah, did I mention he drove his truck home, with the window stuck open, in 35 degree weather for 2 ½ hours?

            On the drive home the base of my skull goes numb.  I’m so angry at what had just happened I felt like I was on the verge of an aneurism.  I get back and call my manager and he calms me down.  “Don’t worry buddy…I’ve got a plan for Monday”

            Monday morning comes in and I literally throw the deal in my finance managers face.  I have a few choice words for him too but you can guess what I said.  As I walk out of his office I’m met in the hallway with my (good) manager.

            He’s got a copy of the deal in hand and has the charge highlighted.  He closes the door and has a long conversation with the finance manger.  I never get to find out what was said but things changed from that day on with our finance department.

            We call the guy who has since noticed the strange charge.  I agree that the charge shouldn’t be there and we give him a few options.  We could send him a check for the amount or we could buy a brush guard/cow pusher bumper for him with the money.  He was planning on putting one on the truck when he had the cash and we could get a discount on the deal.

            He ends up taking the bumper and uses the remaining money to buy a second hand exhaust to fix the diesel particulate filter issue.  We fix the paperwork and everything goes back to the way it should be.  When I call him a month later he invites me to stay with his family and go Coyote hunting sometime.  The kids are in the background and I can hear them ask “Is that Justin?!  Tell him hi”.

            The way that deal went down the (evil) manager could have made it stick.  We delivered papers and the customer accepted them with the vehicle.  “Congratulations, you’re an owner” goes the line from the movie Suckers.  But instead the (good) manager and I found a way to work around the wrong doings of others and in the process put a stop to future shenanigans.  From that deal on our “shoot from the hip” finance manager cleaned up his act and never pushed a dirty deal through me again.  Finding an ally when it comes to doing the right thing is always important.  I was so furious my “options” at the time were to punch the finance guy in the face or quit, or both.  Cooler heads prevailed and while the process was a bit painful, and smelled terrible, it worked out benefiting the rest of our group.

The "evil" manager Round 2... FIGHT

            With a deep sigh, its time for another installment of the one end of the managerial spectrum to stay away from.  That’s right, time to hear more horror stories from my old manager.  This time its got a positive spin on it.

            In my time as an Internet Sales Manager at the dealership I was the longest consecutive person in that position.  People had been promoted, fired, or a combination and ended up in the same role again.  The beauty of the position was it completely ignored what you were told about how to get promoted in the company.  (different blog)

            We were having our entire building renovated and we were moving offices for the fourth or fifth time to accommodate construction.  The three of us at the time were a little upset that the process took several hours to move and setup everything but we were still expected to make calls and have the same response time to emails.  This is kind of difficult when your computer is in a box waiting for you to finish reassembling your desk.

            This time one of our crew was off and the remaining two were moving for the three of us.  Needless to say we were less than excited and were having fun commiserating in the process.  Out of the blue one of our junior salesman stops in to avoid doing his work and talk to us.

            “Where’s mike?”  now this salesman was a bit of an arrogant and/or nosey person who would be upset about not getting enough deals but spent his time playing games on his phone or hiding from customers.  Frequently he would come back to our office to kill as much time as we would let him away from the managers who could actually fire him for this.  Today he happened to hit a nerve and I decided it was time to teach the nosey kid a lesson.

            “Mike quit.”  I looked at my buddy, who shared the same feelings toward him, and he instantly got where I was going with this.  “Yeah, he told us he was done and we’re just packing up his stuff for his wife.”  He gestured to all of Mikes stuff in a box on the table.

            “Nuh uh” and after a few shocked seconds he left, mission accomplished.  After about 10 to 20 minutes he came back.  “Hey, um…were you guys just messing with me?”  But he was asking it in an alarmed tone instead of a “you got me tone”.

            “Yeah, we’re tired of you coming back here and bugging us…you can’t hide from your job…” and with that he turned ghost white.  I stopped talking and asked “Why?” feeling something was amiss.

            “OH CRAP…I just told Gene (our General Manager) he quit!” and at that point I faught the urge to slap him, open handed, full bore as I walked out to cut off the damage he had done.

            “Justin to Gene’s office” rang out over the PA system as I was in the doorway.  I stopped dead in my tracks and hung my head.  Lets just say the words I muttered to the junior salesman had an impact as he slowly backed away from me and never came back to our office again.

            I ran in the door and I see my General Manager and my (evil) manager on every phone in the office trying to reach Mike.  I’m not kidding they had cell phones and land lines ringing trying to get in touch with him. 

            “I already know…it was a prank…I was trying to teach…” and with that they pulled the phones from their ears. 

            “So you’re saying Mike didn’t quit.”  I shook my head yes.  And with that it began.  My general manager cracked a smile in his own twisted way and hung his head.  My other manager turned beet red and it began.

            “WHYYYYYYY WOULD YOU DO THAT?”  He ranted and raved for a few minutes and I figured I had it coming so I didn’t say a word.  “If you spent half as much time selling cars as you do jacking around you’d be the top guy here!”

            As it sat at the time I was the number 3 guy in the dealership that month and only because I hadn’t written any “house deals” from managers that month.  So, in essence I was the legitimate top guy that month but on my own accord without a sweetheart deal handed to me.

            It was also at this point I realized I was standing fully upright, rigid even.  My jaw was clinched and my hands were in fists.  The kind of fists where you can see the tendons and bone glowing white through the knuckles.  I realized I was about to knock him out if I didn’t change my mind, and fast.

            I took a breath and relaxed.  From my time as a bouncer I remembered the most disrespectful thing you could do to a drunk was to put your hands behind your back.  It’s a visual que that you’re not afraid of them and you could take the hit.

            I slid my hands behind my back and looked my “evil” manager dead in the eye and said, “Ok”.  That’s it…nothing more, no implication of evil or being upset or really engaging in any other act than acknowledging him.  “Ok” in the same tone you’d give a grocery store clerk asking if plastic was ok.

            “Noooooo…that’s not ok…whats going on…whats wrong…what aren’t you telling me…” his tone went from aggressive and about to lose a few teeth in the fit of rage I was going to unleash to fearful and “in the dark”.

            “I need to get back to selling cars now…are we done?”  I looked at my General Manager who was in a state of shock.  I found out later he was waiting for me to unleash hell and had gone into “fear mode” trying to figure out how to stop everything.

            While my “evil” manager was still trying to figure out what I meant by “OK” I walked out the door.  Not angry or upset…just casually strolled out the door and made sure not to slam the door as I closed it.  In doing so I saw the start of an hour long conversation between the two on what had just happened.

            I realized in a split second how to handle this jerk.  He was the kind of person who enjoyed manipulating and instigating drama.  By simply not engaging in his games I not only pissed him off, but avoided being tied up in a aggravating situation.

            For the next month or so I decided to take it to an extreme.  I made it a point to use as few words as possible with him as I could.  “Yes” or “No” were ideal…almost like the bit from the original Tron movie from the 70’s. 

“Did you they tell you anything about their trade?”

I nodded and said “Yes”.

“Ok…what did they tell you?”  I pointed at the trade appraisal slip with notes on it.  “Are you going to talk to me today?” 

I barely smiled and said “No” and then walked back to my customer.  Its important to note that I had given him everything he needed to complete his job as my manager without engaging in the typical drama that came with it.  It was heaven, the guy was so put off by my activity he started avoiding me whenever possible.

To save face he even handed a few deals off to other managers because he was “busy” when I had a deal to work.  The culmination of the over simplified communication project was during a contest where the managers were picking teams.  I had just finished my best month in the dealership and was the salesman of the month.  Interesting how that worked out when I wasn’t fighting pointless arguments for his amusement every 30 minutes.

“I can’t pick Justin because he’s mad at me or something…”  and the room didn’t laugh like he hoped.  It was the awkward chuckle you give someone so it isn’t creepy quiet.  Two of the other managers had to look away because they began to laugh at the reaction of not only me, but the room.

The lesson learned in this case is to choose your battles wisely.  Understand your “enemy” and don’t feed into their process.  Use a “pattern interrupt” to get outside of the norm.  Break the cycle that gets you worked up and, occasionally, in trouble by hyper focusing on your duties.

Had he written me up for my actions what was he going to say?  “Justin is doing his job and won’t fight with me when I feel like being an ass.”  Or “Justin is mad at me because I interfere with his job duties on a regular basis.”  Take away the power the bully has and they become helpless. 

I’m not going to lie…I’ve had some vivid dreams since that instance where I took that shot in the office.  The first punch always feels so damn good in the dreams.  It always gets way out of hand after that and I would probably be writing this on toilet paper in my cell had I not had that moment of clarity. 

Booze, Bribery, and a man named Bob

            As a wholesaler of wine & spirit you find yourself in all kinds of weird places.  Quite often the people you work with are also a little odd.  But that’s where the challenge and fun of working with people comes into play.

            Not all people are fun to work with.  Some people are a downright nightmare to work with and they seem to work hard at making it difficult.  In my “rookie” year at the wholesaler I learned a lesson the hard way in just how difficult people can be.

            One account I had was notoriously a “difficult” account to work with.  Not only did you have to write a minimal shelf order but you had to transcribe the order to the companies own manifest for double checking.  The manager of the account, Bob, would frequently cut the order and make you do the whole process over again so it didn’t look like he was being lazy.  (you were doing his job for him by the way)

            On my second or month on the job I was finally cut loose on my own to take care of my accounts.  Bob was out that morning doing god knows what and I wrote a conservative shelf order.  Because of the pricing structure of the chain neither of us controlled the prices they were getting.  So it didn’t matter what I sent it was at the correct price for his shelf.

            I noticed a few of the displays on the floor for his ad were extremely low on product.  Being a rookie I wanted to be sure I didn’t run out and so I added a few cases to the order to restock the displays without being excessive.

            The next day I got a heated phone call from Bob.  I’ll spare you the details but I told him I was sorry and I would be taking the product back, no problem.  I was trying to help and meant nothing by it.

            Fast forward to a few months later.  As a company we were chasing a huge number on several products I sold.  Bob’s account was known to do a lot of volume on these items so I knew I should pitch him. 

            I walked in and saw him by the front door.  “Hey Bob!” I called out to him.  “Bob…hey Bob” and he kept walking away from me.  I walked behind him across the entire store like a little kid trying to get a parents attention.  “Um…Bob…hey Bob…wait up!”  He finally stopped in the back corner of the store as if he ran out of real estate.  “What the f@ck do you want?” 

            Pitched him what was the biggest order I had ever presented to the store.  It was all stuff he was going to run on his ad and he would probably go through it regardless.  I was able to get him the pricing he needed in advance to get the sale.  It was a win/win scenario if I’ve ever seen one.  “F@ck you…no” and he walked off.

            When I returned to my office and told my managers he said “No” they both shook their heads and looked at each other.  “Anything in there?” one of my managers said to the other.  With that he opened a locked drawer and pulled out an envelope with $100 bills.  He grabbed $300 and put them into an envelope and handed it to me.  He then pulled out the “dealer loader” page and ran through items connected to the order.  “Give him the cash and the things I just told you about…don’t worry about the case requirements I’ll override them.”

            For those of you not familiar with the concept of a “dealer loader” its merchandise used to enhance a display or to give away to the public.  “Enter to win this TV” or some branded kind of merchandise.  Frequently these items end up going home with the manager or the salesman and never make it to the display.  They’re also usually attached to enormous numbers of cases to keep it profitable.

            I walked back into the store and this time had them track down Bob for me.  He was in the back so I knew he had less real estate to drag me across.  I found him and got a lovely “Whaaaat?!?”  when I saw him. 

            Pulling him aside from the rest of the group I walked through the order again.  “Damnit I said NO and I meant it!”  I acknowledged our earlier conversation and then pulled out the list and the cash. 

            “If you take the order like I have it written here we’ll give you all this ($600 worth of stuff including a full size basketball hoop, inflatable boat, and other crap) plus $300 cash.  But we need to write it this month.”

            He looked over the list and smiled.  He looked at me and said, “Ok…bill it this month and ship it next week…thanks” 

As he reached over to grab the envelope with the cash I pulled it back and put it in my pocket.  “You know what Bob…I changed my mind…don’t worry about the order.”  And with that I turned and casually strolled away with Bob in tow screaming profanity.  I never turned around in the tirade that followed but I can imagine it looked similar to our exchange earlier only with an angry child throwing a tantrum.

I returned the cash to my boss and told them what happened.  Strangely, they already knew as Bob had called them to complain.  He also had me banned and barred from the store and threatened to put a restraining order on me…for not bribing him.  The managers smoothed things over and made the sale without me in the mix.

At the end of my first 6 months I went in for my performance review.  The management had decided to pull me from my current territory and division and move me to a rural route in a different division.  At the top of the list why I was being “demoted” was the experience with Bob.  The VP at the company said, “Honestly, I’m amazed we’re letting you stay here after you were thrown out of an account in your first 6 months.”  When I defended what I did about what had happened they said “I can’t believe that’s true…and we’re not going to discuss it.”

My now “former” managers were in the room and they denied it ever happening.  My new manager was in the room and was shaking his head in disgust.  He had already told me he knew what had happened and was on my side.  Apparently the entire wine & spirit community heard about it and I was somewhat of a hero for all the people who Bob had treated like shit.

Flash forward a decade or more.  I learned more and had more fun working for Tom in that “punishment” territory than I did in the first one.  He and I are still in touch today and I give him credit for being the type of manager I would want to become some day. 

Bob, on the other hand, hadn’t had the level of “personal growth” I had in that time.  He had been fired from the chain as a scandal about bribery and even extortion surround him.  Apparently another company had enough of his actions and ran it up the flagpole.  In the middle of charges being filed on him Bob got cancer and ultimately died.

I have never wished ill will on another human being in my life.  Having lost family members to cancer, I always feel bad when I hear someone losing that battle.  However, when I heard Bob had died I didn’t feel bad.  I didn’t smile either, for the record, but I definitely felt a sense of Karmic justice.

I may have lost the account and the territory but I kept my integrity.  From that instance on the two managers who sent me into the account that day avoided me if at all possible.  Occasionally I would walk by their office and I would hear them go silent, as children do when they are planning mischief.  Sometimes the big sale isn’t worth the cost on your soul.

The virtues of selling on value vs. price.

            When I was working for New York Life Insurance Company I had a client who gave me a whole new perspective in one case.  The perspective he gave me has changed the way I sold things from that day forward.  Its also changed the way I purchase things on my own behalf.

            I’ll spare you the details but I lucked into having a client who needed a long term care insurance policy.  Long term care, for those who don’t know, is a policy that pays for your nursing care in your later years.  Its cheaper to have you stay in your home than a skilled nursing center so these policies and companies fight to keep you at home as long as you can.  There are even tax incentives to make purchasing one of these policies more appealing.

            This particular client was someone who knew me from when I was a kid.  Honestly, I think he took the meeting because he wanted to help my career out and I was the rookie.  Regardless of the outcome I knew the experience would help me grow as an agent.

            I’ve always been a fan of being an expert in what your good at.  If you’re not an expert, know someone who is and get them involved when you’re out of your depth.  Nobody will ever complain you brought a specialist in to work on something important to get right.  Our office had a long term care (LTC) specialist and I brought her in to help me work the case.

            When we sat down with the client and his wife she instantly started to go through her somewhat scripted process.  She normally worked with clients who could afford the policies but were more focused on the daily aspects of living.  This particular client had been a CEO for years and was the President of a company at the time.

            When she started asking questions designed to illustrate a gap in your current plan her presentation fell apart.  “If you were sick where would you go?”  Most people respond with “a doctor” but this guy responded with a specific doctors name.  “If your house had mold what would you do?”  Most people would call a mold specialist, however, this client had a general handyman he had worked with for years and used his name.  “If your car was broken where would you take it?”  Again, the obvious answer is “a mechanic” but he not only said the specific dealership name but the salesman who handled things like this for him. 

            After some laughing at how “squared away” he was she was afraid to read her final question.  I knew there was one more question because I could see it on her printed notes in front of her.  I stepped in at this point, “Lets assume you didn’t have these contacts or knew exactly where to go to solve a problem…wouldn’t it be worth while to have someone you trust give you direction?”  He got where she was going and we got back on track.

            After laying out how the policies work and what was covered we came to the dreaded “money” question.  “Now, we agree these are valuable features in the policy, right?”  You could hear how uneasy she was after being thrown off her script.  “How much would you be willing to invest in a policy like this?”  And with that she sat quiet.

            For those of you who don’t know this rule its an amazing technique.  When you’re negotiating and you lay out your solution, whatever it is, stop talking.  “The first person to talk looses.” Was what an old sales manager once told me.  He and I stared at a piece of paper, with a customer, in total silence, for 45 minutes once.  The customer ended up buying the car and I learned a huge lesson on the “hard sale”.

            However, this wasn’t your easily closed client.  He thought about it, I think he recognized the technique, and then after a few seconds said.  “If its worth it, I’ll pay it.”  I was surprised to hear that come out of his mouth but I began to understand it.  Meanwhile my “specialist” restated the question and fumbled through trying to get a number commitment.  “Look, I don’t want my children to have to take care of me and my wife when we’re older.  This policy does that and more.  If you can show me enough value in the policy, I don’t care what it costs…because its worth it.”

            After I picked up the ball from where my slack jawed “specialist” left things we concluded our meeting and agreed to meet up again in a week with our solution.  We went back into our cubicle bullpen for new agents and began to recap the meeting.

            A few days go by and we meet to go over the plan.  She had 3 plans laid out that were a few hundred dollars a month and fairly modest benefit periods.  I had played around with the software and knew there was an “Unlimited/Unlimited” option for the policy.  Basically, the policy paid out unlimited funds for an unlimited benefit period.  If you triggered the policy you were taken care of in the very best way possible. 

            “Lets show them that…its what he wants”  We argued for a half an hour and she was afraid to scare him out of the room with the premiums.  The premiums were more than some mortgage payments, but the value was there.

            I knew my cohort would chicken out so I printed out the unlimited/unlimited policy information.  We went in and sure enough, she presented the smaller policies.  The client had a look of disappointment on his face and it felt like he was choosing the lesser of the three evils put in front of him.  “There is one more option I want to show you.  In my opinion this is the highest bang for your buck in a policy like this.”  I explained how the unlimited/unlimited policy worked while my “specialist” shook in her boots.  I finished up going over the policy and said, “Was I correct in thinking that the kind of value you were looking for in a policy?”

            Immediately after I finished my sentence he looked at his wife and smiled.  “This means we’re taken care of until we die and the kids don’t have to take care of us unless they want to.  That’s what we talked about right?”  She had tears in her eyes and held his hand and nodded.  He looked back at me and said “Yup…lets write it up”.

            With my first long term care sale I was the salesman of the month in our region.  It was my ONLY long term care sale in my time there, but still.  It was a huge victory for a rookie agent.

            The lesson I learned was to sell based on the value of a product, not the price.  The more value you build in something the harder it is to say “no” to.  Admittedly, I got lucky with this instance by having someone who could afford the policy, but the premise is the same. 

            As I went on from the insurance world I found myself doing everything I could to add value to what I was selling.  Occasionally I would lose a customer or client in a price battle.  But they were typically difficult people who weren’t worth the extra time and effort to appease for no money.  The people who bought from me bought the value I showed them and subsequently brought me more business.  That’s right, I charged them more than my competitors and they brought me more people to sell to.  The experience and the value they found in me was worth the price they had to pay.

            I’ve found myself buying things with the same mentality.  If its worth it, I’m going to pay more for it.  Ironically when I buy a cheap(er) version of the big ticket item I’m looking at I’m always disappointed.  But knowing I’m buying a lower value proposition makes it easier to accept the negative aspects and move on.