The power of merchandising, and a scary looking power tool

            In my time as a wine and spirit distributor I had a blast merchandising my territory to sell more alcohol.  Its no surprise the reason Budweiser sells so much beer is because everywhere you look you see their logos.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the more your brands are seen in a location the more likely they will be purchased, and then reordered by your customer.

            With that in mind I started to cover my territory with point of sale materials.  At one point I was actually yelled at for taking out too much point of sale materials from the warehouse!  My manager at the time laughed and told the vice president who wanted to write me up “you’re going to write him up for doing what nobody else is doing?”  and after a long pause the subject was dead.

            He was right, we had TONS of stuff sitting in the warehouse collecting dust that nobody was using.  So, being a resourceful person, I started taking everything I could get my hands on and using it to promote my stuff.

            One of my favorite accounts was a marina on the river just north of town.  The place wasn’t much to look at but it was a great summer hangout for locals and boaters going up and down the river.  They sold a ton of drinks and until I showed up hadn’t really had anyone supporting them from my company.

            I brought up anything island themed I could find in the warehouse.  Fake palm trees, inflatable beach balls, necklaces, blinking lights, you name it.  The industry term for some of the smaller items is/was “trinkets and trash” by the way.  I billed out a few bar kits with other supporting items like shirts and table tents.

            After I get their attention they let me decorate the entire bar with whatever I wanted!  They were selling my stuff like it was going out of style and the orders were starting to show it.

            I billed out a few bar mirrors and took them up with a box of 6” long deck screws.  As I was driving in the screws with my cordless drill the owner came up.  “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!”  I finished the one screw I was working on and turned to her.

            “I figure someone is going to steal these mirrors…they’re nice right?”  She nodded.  “So…if some drunk wants to back 36 inches of deck screws with a dime or their bare fingers…they can have this.”  With that the shocked look on her face turned into a smile and she began to laugh.

            “You’ve got a point!”  and with that she walked off to tell the rest of the staff the story.

            After a few bar parties and a few weeks of proving I was there to stay it came time to pitch the big pitch.  They finally trusted me with their signature drink recipe and wanted to see if we could make it cheaper for them.  In their hay days they would take 55 gallon trash cans and mix up 5-6 at a time to keep up with demand.

            I worked out the numbers and grabbed my Black & Decker reciprocating saw with a 10” blade on it.  The day I decided to make the big pitch I happened, not entirely on accident, to show up when my biggest competitor showed up.  I was planning on stealing one of his biggest accounts for rum.  At the time they happened to use Captain Morgan Parrot Bay for their coconut flavored rum…I sold Malibu.

            I sauntered into the bar and saw my competitor walking through a normal shelf order, a few bottles here and there.  After nodding to him I pulled up a chair at the bar and pulled out my reciprocating saw and dropped it on the bar.  I went about my business and ignored the two of them while he hurried up his final few points.  He made a back handed comment about my saw and left, seemingly unconcerned about what I was doing.

            The bar manager asked “What the hell is that for?” and I told him not to worry about it.  I went about pointing out the half empty bottles on the bar and seeing what he needed.  “No, seriously…what the hell is that for?”  He kept breaking the conversation to ask, each time I pushed on with the normal order.  “DAMNIT…WHAT IS THAT THING DOING ON MY BAR!?!?!” 

            I smiled and said “Well you know what this is right?”

            “Yeah, it’s a Black & Decker power saw…”  I slapped the tool like it was a good dog.

            “And how did you know what it was?”  I asked.

            “Everybody knows Black & Decker…its one of the biggest names in power tools…”  I nodded.

            “So if everybody knows the quality, the reputation, and the pedigree that comes with this brand what does it say about someone who uses it?”  I asked.

            “It means you know what the f*@k you’re doing…”  I smiled.

            “So if you use a knock off brand what does that make you?”  and with that I leaned in to hear his response.

            “It means you’re a moron…”  he threw back with an indignant tone in his voice.

            “Ok…so if all that’s true…why are you NOT putting Malibu Coconut rum in your main drink?  It’s the original coconut rum everyone knows…”  and in the middle of the somewhat corny response his jaw went slack.  “Captain Morgan is a cheap knock off brand that imitates Malibu.  I know it, you know it, your customers now it.  If they cost the same per ounce what would you choose?  Better yet, if I could get you a better deal on the original brand and support it with island themed signs and other fun stuff for the bar do you think you’d sell more?”

            I’ll spare you how the rest of this interaction went and get to the punch line.  The next week the very same VP who wanted to write me up for taking out too much point of sale materials called me to make sure I hadn’t made a huge mistake on an order.  “Justin I’m looking at 3 ½ pallets of product going to a Marina in your territory…did you mean to put in bottles and instead hit cases?  We need to cancel this order before it goes out!” 

            I wish I could have been there to see the look on his face when I said, “Nope…no mistake…all $12,000 of that order needs to ship.  They’re on the way with 3 trucks now to pick it up.  We may need a refill by the end of the summer too.”  My little stunt with the power saw had sealed the deal to switch over everything in the bar they could to me.  I went from 15% market share in the bar to 75% or more because of the volume we were now doing.

            Unfortunately the bar ended up on some hard times later that summer.  The owners son was found dead in the bed of his pickup truck, he had aspirated on his own vomit.  The bar manager who was sleeping with the owner had ran off and the “kids” who ran the bar had left without warning.  1/3 of the order had to come back to avoid losing it to the bank in the bankruptcy.

            The VP never got on my case for merchandising again.  Suppliers actually started asking me what I wanted to put up in my territory directly!  Never underestimate the power of brand awareness.

Booze, Bribery, and a man named Bob

            As a wholesaler of wine & spirit you find yourself in all kinds of weird places.  Quite often the people you work with are also a little odd.  But that’s where the challenge and fun of working with people comes into play.

            Not all people are fun to work with.  Some people are a downright nightmare to work with and they seem to work hard at making it difficult.  In my “rookie” year at the wholesaler I learned a lesson the hard way in just how difficult people can be.

            One account I had was notoriously a “difficult” account to work with.  Not only did you have to write a minimal shelf order but you had to transcribe the order to the companies own manifest for double checking.  The manager of the account, Bob, would frequently cut the order and make you do the whole process over again so it didn’t look like he was being lazy.  (you were doing his job for him by the way)

            On my second or month on the job I was finally cut loose on my own to take care of my accounts.  Bob was out that morning doing god knows what and I wrote a conservative shelf order.  Because of the pricing structure of the chain neither of us controlled the prices they were getting.  So it didn’t matter what I sent it was at the correct price for his shelf.

            I noticed a few of the displays on the floor for his ad were extremely low on product.  Being a rookie I wanted to be sure I didn’t run out and so I added a few cases to the order to restock the displays without being excessive.

            The next day I got a heated phone call from Bob.  I’ll spare you the details but I told him I was sorry and I would be taking the product back, no problem.  I was trying to help and meant nothing by it.

            Fast forward to a few months later.  As a company we were chasing a huge number on several products I sold.  Bob’s account was known to do a lot of volume on these items so I knew I should pitch him. 

            I walked in and saw him by the front door.  “Hey Bob!” I called out to him.  “Bob…hey Bob” and he kept walking away from me.  I walked behind him across the entire store like a little kid trying to get a parents attention.  “Um…Bob…hey Bob…wait up!”  He finally stopped in the back corner of the store as if he ran out of real estate.  “What the f@ck do you want?” 

            Pitched him what was the biggest order I had ever presented to the store.  It was all stuff he was going to run on his ad and he would probably go through it regardless.  I was able to get him the pricing he needed in advance to get the sale.  It was a win/win scenario if I’ve ever seen one.  “F@ck you…no” and he walked off.

            When I returned to my office and told my managers he said “No” they both shook their heads and looked at each other.  “Anything in there?” one of my managers said to the other.  With that he opened a locked drawer and pulled out an envelope with $100 bills.  He grabbed $300 and put them into an envelope and handed it to me.  He then pulled out the “dealer loader” page and ran through items connected to the order.  “Give him the cash and the things I just told you about…don’t worry about the case requirements I’ll override them.”

            For those of you not familiar with the concept of a “dealer loader” its merchandise used to enhance a display or to give away to the public.  “Enter to win this TV” or some branded kind of merchandise.  Frequently these items end up going home with the manager or the salesman and never make it to the display.  They’re also usually attached to enormous numbers of cases to keep it profitable.

            I walked back into the store and this time had them track down Bob for me.  He was in the back so I knew he had less real estate to drag me across.  I found him and got a lovely “Whaaaat?!?”  when I saw him. 

            Pulling him aside from the rest of the group I walked through the order again.  “Damnit I said NO and I meant it!”  I acknowledged our earlier conversation and then pulled out the list and the cash. 

            “If you take the order like I have it written here we’ll give you all this ($600 worth of stuff including a full size basketball hoop, inflatable boat, and other crap) plus $300 cash.  But we need to write it this month.”

            He looked over the list and smiled.  He looked at me and said, “Ok…bill it this month and ship it next week…thanks” 

As he reached over to grab the envelope with the cash I pulled it back and put it in my pocket.  “You know what Bob…I changed my mind…don’t worry about the order.”  And with that I turned and casually strolled away with Bob in tow screaming profanity.  I never turned around in the tirade that followed but I can imagine it looked similar to our exchange earlier only with an angry child throwing a tantrum.

I returned the cash to my boss and told them what happened.  Strangely, they already knew as Bob had called them to complain.  He also had me banned and barred from the store and threatened to put a restraining order on me…for not bribing him.  The managers smoothed things over and made the sale without me in the mix.

At the end of my first 6 months I went in for my performance review.  The management had decided to pull me from my current territory and division and move me to a rural route in a different division.  At the top of the list why I was being “demoted” was the experience with Bob.  The VP at the company said, “Honestly, I’m amazed we’re letting you stay here after you were thrown out of an account in your first 6 months.”  When I defended what I did about what had happened they said “I can’t believe that’s true…and we’re not going to discuss it.”

My now “former” managers were in the room and they denied it ever happening.  My new manager was in the room and was shaking his head in disgust.  He had already told me he knew what had happened and was on my side.  Apparently the entire wine & spirit community heard about it and I was somewhat of a hero for all the people who Bob had treated like shit.

Flash forward a decade or more.  I learned more and had more fun working for Tom in that “punishment” territory than I did in the first one.  He and I are still in touch today and I give him credit for being the type of manager I would want to become some day. 

Bob, on the other hand, hadn’t had the level of “personal growth” I had in that time.  He had been fired from the chain as a scandal about bribery and even extortion surround him.  Apparently another company had enough of his actions and ran it up the flagpole.  In the middle of charges being filed on him Bob got cancer and ultimately died.

I have never wished ill will on another human being in my life.  Having lost family members to cancer, I always feel bad when I hear someone losing that battle.  However, when I heard Bob had died I didn’t feel bad.  I didn’t smile either, for the record, but I definitely felt a sense of Karmic justice.

I may have lost the account and the territory but I kept my integrity.  From that instance on the two managers who sent me into the account that day avoided me if at all possible.  Occasionally I would walk by their office and I would hear them go silent, as children do when they are planning mischief.  Sometimes the big sale isn’t worth the cost on your soul.

Bipolar manager who loved to hate

            Of all the managers I’ve ever had, the all time worst manager I’ve had almost killed me.  I know you may think that’s a figure of speech but I mean it in a literal sense.  The managerial style of this man was so far out of whack that I began to respond to it physically, and my health declined.

            It all started off well, nothing out of the ordinary and I kind of enjoyed the way we interacted.  As time went on and the “honeymoon” phase of being the new hire wore off the reality set in.  As time went on it grew worse and worse and there wasn’t much we, as a sales staff, could do.

            There are so many examples of how terrible this guy was that I could write a whole series of stories about him in this blog.  Having just written that I may have to do that as part of my ongoing process of moving on from this nightmare.

            In the car business, as a salesman,  you have to bring your deals to the sales manager when you’re working them.  The process starts with filling out a worksheet on your customer.  Once you’ve got all the pertinent information you take it to your manager and they go to work.

            “Oh my god…what do you want?” he would say.  “You’re ruining my life…why are you up here again?!?”  Once you handed him the worksheet his demeanor would change.  “Ok…cool…well lets work and get you a car deal.”  He would pencil the details on the sheet and hand it back.  “Here you go, you got this you can do it.”  And then you’d walk back to your customer.

            Ninety percent of America realizes the first offer from a dealership is designed to put you on the ceiling.  Its so far from what  you asked if anyone took the first pencil you knew there was a bigger problem waiting down the line.  You did what we were trained to do and get an offer, sometimes with a check in hand.

            “How’d you do?” he would say as he read the paper you handed him with the new offer.  “Oh my god…this is pathetic!  That’s the best offer you can get from this customer?!?  Do you want me to get a real salesman to go over and fill out the order form?”  Sometimes he would grab a salesman working another deal and “jokingly” ask if he could step in and close the deal. 

            After some scribbling and some number crunching he would hand the paper back.  “Ok…you’ve got a car deal here you just need to get their thinking up a little from this offer.  You’re close and you can do this.”  And with that he’d send you back.

            After yet more negotiation with the customer you’d head back up to the “tower of power” for more bludgeoning from him.  “Holy catfish!  You’re doing a great job representing the customer today…you know we’d like to make some money here.”  It was at this point, by the prescribed procedural guidelines he had the option of stepping in and working with the customer himself.  Sometimes he would grab one of the newer sales managers to do it for him.  “Can you go sell this guy a car…he apparently can’t do it.  Get out of my face.” 

            So now, assuming he got off his ass and didn’t take a phone call from his wife in the middle of the deal, he’s walking in to work with your customer.  The same customer who you’ve been telling him “$10,000 down and $1500 a month is the best we can do” when they asked for zero down and $500 a month for 60 months.

            He would walk in with a big cheesy smile and a token laugh at a bad joke.  He would make small talk about anything obvious and then act like he’d never seen the numbers in his hand.  As the salesman you were required to sit there and not say a word.  Frequently, you were standing behind him looking like a moron staring at his chicken scratches.

            “So if I could get you close to that $500 a month for 60 months would you buy the car today?”  The would obviously shake their head “yes” and he’d say.  “Ok, let me go to work for you and see if we can make that happen.”  And we’d walk back up to the tower.

            “God damn it why didn’t you do _______” was usually the first thing he said.  Ironically followed by “They’re nice people though…you’ve got a car deal here…hang in there.”  If there was an attractive woman in the mix he would make a comment about having her move in with him in the small town he lived in. 

            In the final stages of the deal he would sometimes tell you to “write it up ya big softie” and you’d go write up the deal.  Other times he would take another stab at the customer to ultimately find a middle ground.  Regardless of how the deal was struck as you gathered the 15 different forms to put the deal together every time you walked within ear shot he would make a cutting remark about how worthless you were.

            This happened every time you had to work a deal with him.  It took different forms when you had to interact with him on different things as well.  Ultimately I was so enraged by the way he treated me I was drinking the 5 Hour energy sleep aide in the middle of the day to calm down. 

            There were half a dozen times where, in an argument started by him, I found myself gnashing my teeth and with a white knuckled fist repeating, “You can’t hit him…you can’t hit him.” 

            In the car business it’s a dog eat dog world, there’s no getting around this.  But the difference between horsing around and poking fun at your buddy and managerial bullying is night and day.  For one month I chose to only respond to him with “yes” or “no”.  Anything else was in as few words as possible. 

            Because I wouldn’t engage with his crap he would try it and it wouldn’t go anywhere.  It infuriated him so much he began to badger me when I was away from him.  By not engaging in the bashing and berating behavior from him and waiting to work deals with the other managers I found a loophole.

            That month was the salesman of the month and sold the most cars in my career.  I sold them to spite my manager and the hatred of this man drove me in a way that was scary.

            This was also the month I was pulled over on a test drive and got out of it when I disclosed to the officer I had my concealed carry on me.  That’s right, I carried a loaded 9mm handgun on me at the dealership from my interview until the day they banned it.  When I got back he was giving me shit about the ordeal and asked how I got out of it.  “You’re not that good of a salesman so how did you get out of the ticket?”  I smiled and told him “I told him what I was legally obligated to tell him…I have a concealed carry, its loaded, and my permit is in my wallet.”

            The look on his face was priceless when I showed him the imprint of my handgun on my shirt.  My used car manager at the time was a close friend of mine and belly laughed.  “You dumbass, he’s been packing since he started!  Trowbridge is always strapped!  You might want to lay off him in the future too you jackass!”  He did for a few weeks but went right back to it.

            I’ve run into dozens of people who worked with this man over the years.  Almost every single one of them has similar stories.  The part that really disturbed me was that he was a sponsor for AA.  Someone trying to get their life back in line had this asshole to rely on when they were fighting their demons.  It makes me sick just thinking about it.  I will always remember working with him…and I’ll always remember how NOT to manage people.

A good story and some help from Andrew Jackson

            Sometimes all you need to do is give someone a good story.  This is especially true when you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t seem to understand the situation.  Sadly, this happens a lot in the auto industry.

            When I was working for a local Ford dealership as an Internet Sales Manager I worked with all kinds of people.  No two days were ever the same and it was a great experience if you had the desire to work with people.  Sometimes your customers were amazing and you ended up becoming great personal friends even after the sale.  Other times you wanted to vomit whenever you heard their name.

            One day I got an internet lead on a guy who wanted to buy a Platinum package F-150.  This is a $56,000 truck and usually means one of two things.  You have a kid who’s dreaming big and you’re in for a nightmare of a deal.  Or, you have someone who can afford it and they know exactly what they want.

            Luckily for me this was the latter of the two.  He turned out to be an Airman stationed at the local Air Base and was about to go to flight school.  He wanted to buy the truck before he left for training.  This was an easy transaction because we participated in USAA pricing for active military.  (something I helped push through)

            He showed up and spent 2 hours going over the features of the truck, checking out small details, and driving it.  I could tell this was the right truck for him and he was excited about it.  However, I could see there was something afoot with this deal that wasn’t evident just yet.

            “Ok…I’ll talk to you later then!”  And he walked away toward his car, out of nowhere.  This is the ultimate nightmare for any car sales person.  Your “Up” (prospective customer) is leaving the property without talking to someone else…which meant you’re going to be humiliated publicly by your manager.  I finally stopped him in the middle of the drive and asked where he was going.  “Oh its no big deal…I just need to crunch some numbers and think about it for a day.”

            I’ll spare you the boring details but he ended up leaving after we worked up some numbers.  The entire time he was about as readable as wet toast.  After a while I gave up and let him go, the guy was just done talking.

            After my day off I walked into the dealership to find my buddy Jason had worked with the airman yesterday.  This happens all the time and now both of us are on the line to close the deal to get HALF of the money.  Jason was a pretty stand up guy so I knew he had done everything on the up and up so I didn’t have to worry.  “That dude was hard to read!  He came in all excited and then just kinda went limp…what the hell?”

            Over the next two weeks Jason and I effectively “tag teamed” this guy with emails, phone calls, and yet more visits to the dealership.  Each time the guy just wanted to drool over the truck and learn more about some bizarre detail that nobody ever cares about.  I honestly think he asked if the lug nuts were right hand thread at one point…but I got so zoned out talking to him its all a blur.

            Finally, one day Jason and I have the guy in the dealership and he’s starting to show signs of life.  We decided the best way to handle it was to work the deal together.  After 5 hours of the two of us in a small room with this guy we’re at the end of the deal.  We had stripped out everything and given up more ground on this truck than we thought was possible.  We had so much time invested in this guy we weren’t going to let him go this time.

            Our boss on the final pencil had told me, “if he doesn’t take this deal…get his ass out of here.”  He was as done dealing with this guy as Jason and I were.  At this point Jason and I were looking at a commission of $150 for a truck with an MSRP of $56,000.  Oh yeah…and we had to split the $150 for the last 3 weeks of work.

            “Well this is it…we’re done dealing.  There is nothing left in this deal.  We’re literally at the take it or leave it stage.”  I said.

            “I still feel like I should get something for free”  He said as I grinded my teeth and tried not to come over the table at this guy.  After even more deliberation and long drawn out awkward pauses he finally began to sign his name.  Jason and I glanced at each other in astonishment.

            He started to write the vertical part of an “A” in the first part of his name, then stopped and dropped the pen.  “I’m sorry guys I know $14,000 off the sticker is a hell of a deal but I feel like I need something for free here.  Oil changes or a gift card or something…”  It took everything I had to not slap this guy at this point.

            “Ok…the dealership is done dealing at this point.  Jason and I are all that’s left holding this deal together.  I’ll tell you what…”  I pull out my wallet.  “I’ll give you $20 from my own pocket if you shut up and sign your name.”  With that I pulled out a crisp $20 bill and laid it on the table.  “You’ll be the only guy you know who has the story about a car salesman giving you $20 to take a crazy deal like this.  But I want you to promise me some referrals so I can make my $20 back.”

            Jason was sitting on a file cabinet and had a look on his face that I’ll never forget.  To his credit, he didn’t say a word, which made the gesture even more powerful.

            After some awkward laughter from the guy he signed the paperwork and took the deal.  We got everything done and punted him down the road as quickly as possible.  Jason took the lead while I spewed profanity in the back.

            I realized all this guy wanted was a story.  His own story was pretty bland and other than being a fighter pilot he had nothing.  The truck he bought was his way of stepping up to the image of a fighter pilot.  He worked the deal not based on financials but on building a story he could tell the guys in his unit.

            Jason and I talked later and he was shocked I paid the guy.  When he asked me why I did it I told him.  “We were already making a split mini so the money wasn’t a factor.  However, I’m getting close to a $500 volume bonus for the month and this ½ deal could be the thing that puts me over the top.”  Jason nodded and agreed it was a good call…ballsy…but a good call.  “Plus, we’re finally done with that guy and can spend more time on other customers!”

            I ended up making my volume bonus later that month by…you guessed it…1/2 a car deal.  However the bonus I made was the second tier bonus that paid me a second $500.  As for our customer he left the state and we never heard from him again.  The last contact we had with him was on the Ford Survey they send out on new vehicle purchases.  If you can believe it the guy burned us on the survey because the process took too long.

How to beat the house...with technolgy.

    

This is one of my favorite “get even” stories.  When I was running my own business development company one of my clients ran an online gaming site.  The site didn’t use real money so you could gamble legally on it.  It was a loophole to be sure but the owner was proud of it.

            I came up with the idea of connecting the website to the casino’s on the river.  They had hosted events for me in the past and the connection was a no brainer.  If the casino advertised on the site it could put a ton of cash in our pockets at the same time.

            So with that I approached a marketing contact I had for the casino.  I told him about the site and how we were a legal gaming website in Nebraska who wanted to cross promote with their location.  At first he was excited to see what we came up with and gave me a ton of information on how the non gaming elements of the casino worked.

            The part he was most excited about was our ability to track emails.  My client owned an email program that not only tracked the open/read status of an email but could tell you who they forwarded it to, when they opened it, what links they clicked on, the associated IP addresses, and even the number of times you opened it.  When it came to generating a true ROI this program was amazing.

            At the end of our meeting he asked me to present a few ideas to them for review and then they would get back to us.  Whenever a meeting goes this well I tend to get a little excited and had 15 to 20 ideas within a few hours.  It didn’t hurt that I could also tie in several of my other clients into the promotions and double down on the exposure.

            After I narrowed the ideas down to 10 or so I sent him my standard non-disclosure email.  The response I got back gave me that horrible “pit of the stomach” feeling.  “I won’t sign this.  We represent one of the largest Casino properties in the world…if you can’t trust us then I guess we’re done here.”  I called him shortly after my stream of profanity had ceased.

            “You guys are a Casino…you’d bleed me dry at a table and then take my home if you had the chance…of course I don’t trust you!”  After an awkward laugh from him he restated the disheartening news.  I was at an impasse with the proposal…until I realized I had the email program.

            I agreed to forgo the NDA and sent him my proposal.  I sent it to him with a few embedded links to the other companies in the mix.  Most importantly though, I sent it through our email tracking system.

            Four weeks go by and he’s only returned a few emails from me.  Most of them said “we’ve been busy but I’ll get to it next week…I promise”.  And finally after a month I called him.

            “Just wanted to follow up and see if you had a chance to review our proposal?” 

            “Ah man…I’ve been swamped with execs in from out of town.  I don’t think I’ve even had a chance to open the original document” he told me.

            “Really?  I think you opened it this morning at about 9:35am from this IP address.  (read him the IP)  Furthermore, that’s the 8^th time you’ve opened it since I sent it.  You’ve also forwarded the email to these 7 email addresses (read the list).  Remember when I told you we could track emails to a scary level…this is the proof”    

            If you’ve never dropped a bomb on someone like this before it’s a life changing moment.  I could almost hear him crapping his pants as he had a heart attack.  The look of shock on his face during the dead silence on the phone must have been epic.  He hurriedly blurted out, “um…um…we’ve already thought of most of this and want to pass…goodbye”

            Now I’ll be the first person to admit I could have handled that better, but lets face it the guy lied to me.  I approached the meeting and subsequent proposal with the best of intentions and full disclosure.  I would have been fine if he declined my proposal based on any number of reasons, but he lied to me for over a month.

            The lesson learned here is to use the tools at your disposal very carefully.  Had I used a little more restraint I may have salvaged this proposal and made some money on the deal.  At the same time I feel lucky to not have done business with someone who has that little integrity and overall lack of business ethics.  From that moment on I sent every proposal through that system and took it very seriously when I was presented an NDA.

            On a final note I ran into this guy years later.  I have grown a full beard and lost a bunch of weight since then.  He came up to me at a city run convention and was trying to get me to stop by his booth.  After he hit me with his canned speech on the amazing things going on at his casino I smiled and said.  “Sure…will you sign my NDA first?”  The blood drained from his face and his smile evaporated.  He happened to be shaking my hand at the time and his grip went limp.  “Justin?” he muttered.  I nodded and he walked away.

Give me commercials...not tears during a football game!

            I feel like this week I’m almost obligated to talk about the Super Bowl and the commercials.  It seems like no matter your view of football, you watch the Super Bowl.  Even if your favorite teams arch nemesis is playing after knocking yours out of contention you watch the Super Bowl.

            Companies pay millions of dollars for the spots.  Sometimes they only play the spots once during the game and we never see them again.  Other times the same ad will play for months after the game.  The one consistent thing about these commercials is that they are designed to make an impression.

            Growing up in the 80’s and 90’s to some extent my memories of Super Bowl commercials were some of the iconic ads.  The Bud Bowl with the animated bottles and cans, Budweiser Frogs, Diet Pepsi, Crystal Pepsi, and many more.  The ironic thing is I wasn’t old enough to drink alcoholic beverages until the late 90’s.

            The majority of these ads were hilarious and cleverly written.  The years where the teams were terrible or it was a blowout early on they carried the event.  Recent years these ads have changed and are starting to backfire on the companies themselves.

            Companies such as GoDaddy.com didn’t exist when I was a kid.  But I can only imagine my parents reaction to the scantily clad women they use to sell their products.  I also remember hearing that the CEO of Info USA wanted his ads to be so terrible that they were all you could talk about the next day at work.  The focus seems to have shifted from humorous and fun to an expensive game of pitch.

            This year I watched the game with my girlfriend.  Or, more appropriately she watched the game and I watched the ads.  (After playing football for years I lost the love of the game and don’t watch regularly)  Several times during the game I looked over at her to see how this years ads were effecting her.  She’s not a “Creampuff” by any means but she was in tears almost every other commercial break.  I don’t remember any of the deep belly laughs of my youth this year.

            Has the paradigm shifted to where the companies are focusing on making such a poignant impact on the consumers that they need to be so brutal?  Have we as a society walked away from humorous commercials and need to be clubbed with sentiment to be engaged?  From what I saw over this past Sunday there is definitely a school of thought that thinks so.

            Now I’m all for the power of making a bold statement.  The puppy that gets lost and then the Clydesdale sticks up for him takes you on a journey.  But does that journey do anything to contribute to their brand?  Does watching a puppy almost get devoured by a wolf make you want to drink Bud Light?  Its almost as if they’ve (Budweiser) been at it so long that they have lost sight of what these are for. 

            Also, how does the tearful sad or emotional story effect how you watch the game?  Your team is in the red zone about to tie the game with 3 minutes left to play and then they cut to a break.  The commercial is about prosthetic limbs and a little boys courage to adapt to his life with them and you’re left a sniffling mess thinking of your kids.  Without so much as a minute to collect yourself you’re back in the game…or are you?

            There is a fine line that needs to be walked with Super Bowl commercials.  The two that stood out as “appropriate” for me was the McDonalds commercial and the Dodge commercial.  Both of which were positive in nature and had that “warm fuzzy” feeling.  Both commercials gave a positive brand experience and supported their values.  Admittedly I got a little misty eyed at the McDonalds ad because it was such an affirmation in the human condition.  But other than being a little moved it was easy to segue back into the game.  The Dodge commercial with the 100 year olds made you feel good about being older.

            Any way you look at it the Super Bowl is going to be an emotional rollercoaster.  If you’re a company with a few million dollars burning a hole in your pocket for a few seconds worth of air time you can do what you want.  The risk of using such a highly anticipated event as the Super Bowl to essentially “manipulate” millions can be a risky venture.  The challenge is coming up with the next big idea that will become the fond memory of children in the future. 

Bilingual blunder

     Years ago when I was a wine and spirit wholesaler I was given a Mercado (Mexican grocery store) as a new account.  I stopped in a week before their license was approved and met a young man in the meat department.  When I told him who I was looking for he said "Yeah, that's my dad...he doesn't speak English though."
     What he didn't realize is that the 6'3", Irish, former lineman standing before him knew how to speak Spanish fairly well.  "Ok, I'll see what we can do..." and I walked over to the grocery side of the building.
     Behind the counter was Isidro, a hard working guy with a big mustache and glasses.  He looked kind of like the Spanish version of Groucho Marx.  "I'm looking for Isidiro" I said.
    "Soy Isidro, pero no hablo ingles"  (I'm Isidro but I don't speak English)  Just then the Budweiser rep walked up to the counter and began to speak to Isidro (in Spanish).
     I had met this guy in a few of my other accounts and knew he was from Nogales so he spoke fluent Spanish.  Realizing he probably needed to wrap up some business before he moved on to his next stop I decided to wait.
    In Spanish with me standing 4 feet away he began to lay into me.  "Can you believe they sent this guy in here?  He'll rip you off!  He'll treat you like a dirty Mexican and will never give you respect!  The guy doesn't even speak the language, how will he be able to service your account?"  And he went on for some time.  I picked up about 80% of what he was saying and did nothing for at least 5 minutes.
     Finally he started taking cheap shots at me being a "white guy" and being scared in the neighborhood.  I had heard enough and laughed at one of his jokes out loud.  "Did you read something funny there buddy?"  he said with impunity.
     I turned and looked him dead in the eye, "Quidado hablo espanol tambien"  (Careful I speak Spanish too)  With that his jaw dropped and he froze.  Isidro started laughing, not just a chuckle, a deep barrel laugh.  Customers in the store also reacted with laughter and amazement.
     Isidro caught his breath and said, "Man, thats funny!"
     "I KNEW YOU SPOKE ENGLISH!" I shouted at him while laughing.  The Budweiser rep was packing his papers up and hastily leaving the store.  Still having said nothing to me after the revelation.  I was almost twice his size so I'm sure he was afraid I was going to retaliate physically.
     From that moment on Isidro and his family really enjoyed working with me, as I did them.  I felt more comfortable speaking English and they felt more comfortable speaking Spanish.  So we worked in two languages most of the time.
     Once over the holidays my boss was with me helping sell gift sets.  I had told him that Isidro wanted any tequila gift sets we had.  We had 72 cases of Sauza Hornitos gift sets with two shot glasses in the box.
     We walked into the store and Isidro and I began to talk about the deal.  He told me he would take every single case he could if the price was right.  I asked him how many he could take if I was able to get more and he simply said "todo" (all).  I nodded my head and turned to my manager Tom, "How many more cases can we get?  He's taking the pallet we have now can we get more?"
     The look on Toms face was priceless.  He had thought I was on a bluetooth call and Isidro wasn't talking to me but the customers near the counter.  We ended up getting another 2 pallets of gift sets from different states who couldn't sell it.
     Isidro blew through the gift sets in two weeks.  He even asked if we could get more for him!  I told him the 1300 bottles he just sold would have to do for the year and he laughed.  (6 pack cases)
     Anytime I was in the store and someone began to say something "secretive" in front of me in Spanish Isidro cut them off.  After a few months of working with them I asked what happened to my buddy from Budweiser.  Apparently he had transferred to a different distributor halfway across the state.  Word had got out that he got "busted" by the "big guy" who spoke Spanish.  Isidro had told them how wrong he (the bud rep) was and how much money I had made him.  Nobody respected the Bud rep anymore and they stopped doing business with him.
     The lesson learned is always treat your competition with respect.  Buyers understand that you're doing battle with each other on a daily basis.  Some like to watch you go at it and others don't want the drama.  By allowing my competitor to dig himself into a hole he couldn't recover from and doing it with some class I became somewhat of a legend.  The next few accounts I picked up with Spanish speaking owners asked if I also sold to Isidro.  I smiled and responded with "Si, soy el"  (yes, I'm him).