The LAST car I ever sold

            So in my time as an internet sales manager at a Ford store I had a lot of strange contacts.  You would think that people who are trying to save time by conducting most of the transaction online would want to keep things simple.  On the contrary most of the people who started shopping for a car online made it more complicated and challenging than if they would have just stopped in and said hello.

            Having said that there are certain times when you simply can’t help but make it more complicated than it needs to be.  For example, if you’re in an active combat zone and you’re trying to buy a car for a surprise visit stateside.  That is where the last car I will ever sell started.

            I got an email lead one day through our USAA lead source.  I took special care of these leads as they were usually members of our armed forces or their families.  Regardless I respect what they do for our country and wanted to give them every possible courtesy as thanks for their sacrifices.

            The email I got was from a young man who wanted to buy a black on black California special Mustang GT 5.0, manual we had on the lot.  It was one hell of a sexy looking car and from the day it showed up I kept checking in on it whenever it was within eye sight.

            The USAA pricing made things super easy for us.  At the time it also meant that I was only going to make $150 on the deal because of the overly aggressive pricing my (now fired) GM had put on these deals.  The price was the price and the rest was just pushing paperwork through.

            At first it was emails back and fourth making sure the car had the right features and options.  I noticed the emails had “declassified” on them and made it a point to jokingly ask my customer what was going on.  He told me he was in a forward operating base in Afghanistan and the emails had to go through a screening process to make sure he wasn’t giving out intelligence. 

            Finally after several emails I told the young Marine he was welcome to call me, day or night, either at the dealership or on my cell phone.  I know he would only get a small window to do so and I worked crazy hours so something had to line up.

            The next day I get a phone call from a “kid” with lots of “yes sir” and “no sir” answers…I knew right away it was the Marine.  He told me he wanted to buy the car and drive it to his sisters wedding in 3 months as a surprise.  I told him what we would need to do in order to make that happen with power of attorney and a deposit.  As soon as I said “deposit” he said “oh shit” and abruptly hung up.

            Not having a way to call him back I wrote him an email and explained the steps on what he needed to do.  The next morning I returned to work to find a reply in my inbox saying “sorry about that…we were taking mortars and I had to get to cover.  Is the car still there?!”.  I sat staring at my screen for a few minutes letting that sink in.  This “kid” was more concerned about blowing his mustang deal than he was getting killed by mortar rounds.

            His mom had to get in the mix as the stateside power of attorney and she collaborated with me to send all the documents we needed.  When we had the paperwork together I told him all we needed now was the deposit.  I got 3 emails in rapid succession with his credit card info on them.  About an hour later I get a call from him.  “Hey did you get those emails?  I was in my can, on a toilet, with the fob out the vent hole, trying to get a wifi signal while we took more rounds.  F@$kin’ Taliban”  (“can” was the concrete bunker he lived in.  Apparently there was a vent hole they Marines figured out had a wifi signal if you could see the communication bunker)  He had been hitting the send button over and over again to make sure the email got sent.

            At this point the car was his.  We sent a courier up to his family in South Dakota to discretely have his mom sign the paperwork.  His dad, a long haul trucker was on the road at the time so it was perfect.  The Marine emailed me saying his dad would be in Omaha that weekend dropping off a load of cattle and he wanted to see the car.  “Now remember, my dad doesn’t know I’ve already bought the car so just act like I’m still considering it.”  I agree to meet his dad on Sunday, when the dealership was closed, to take him for a ride.

            Sure enough Sunday afternoon his dad pulls up in a truck with a load of cattle.  If you’ve never smelled someone who hauls cattle before it takes a few days to get it out of your nose and mouth.  It’s a very “earthy” smell and I knew this going in…but this guys story had me hooked.  We took a test drive and his dad smiled the whole time, he was loving every second of the drive.  “Well shit…guess I’m not a Camero guy anymore!”  I parked the car and told him we’d have to get back in touch with his son and see if we could work out numbers.

            I put a sign in the cars windshield for the next 3 months.  “Welcome Home Marine  SOLD”  We made it a point to walk people past the car to show them how we took care of our armed forces.  I kept the keys in my desk and had him send me a letter stating I was allowed to retain ownership and/or operate the vehicle as needed to facilitate his ownership.  I didn’t want my “evil” manager or my less than bright GM saying I stole the car.  At this point I had also made up my mind to quit after I delivered the car to the Marine.

            The final week rolled around and I get flight times for his arrival into the Omaha Airport.  Friday at 1pm I was going to deliver the car and then on my return to the dealership I was going to quit.  I told a friend of mine the night before for some reason and she told my GM the next morning.

            Friday morning rolls around and I’m rather chipper knowing I’m hours away from being done.  Our GM calls an all sales meeting after his morning beating of the other managers.  He went through the room checking our schedules making sure we had coverage and then dismissed everyone except me and 2 of the other managers.  “I know today is your last day…I’ve known this for some time.”  He said.  (total lie and just positioning)  We go through a laundry list of things about how I’m doing, what’s wrong, where am I going…etc.  My responses by the way were:  “I’m pissed off every day and taking sleeping aides at lunch to calm down”, “I make $150 a car with the internet pricing you put in place so I’m broke”, and “I have NO IDEA but at least its not here”.

            I but a great big bow on top with a middle finger with this one, “I would have quit 3 months ago but I promised a Marine in Afghanistan I’d pick him up in his Mustang at the airport so he can surprise his family.  (I actually had the letter in my pocket stating I could do this…just in case)  I made a promise to a man who is fighting a war…I intend to keep it.  His flight gets in at 1pm…then I’m done.”

            He makes a few more petty attempts to keep me on and I blow it off.  As I’m walking out one of the other managers shakes my hand and said “that was awesome”.  (he quit a month or two later as well)  I was “allowed” to deliver the car but wasn’t supposed to return afterward.  A lot porter and friend of mine helped me get my car downtown to my place and give me a ride back so I had nothing left there.

            I got in the Mustang and drove it to the airport later that day.  I’m not sure if it was the sense of finally being free of the nightmare that was that job or if it was the V8 under my foot…but that drive felt amazing!  I pulled up to the gate right as I got a text from the Marine.  “Out front”

            He wasn’t hard to miss on the street.  “Jarhead” haircut, built like a brick shit house, and holding a green duffle bag over his shoulder.  I revved the engine a few times as I entered the concrete “canyon” where you pick people up.  The smile on this guys face said it all.

            “Corporal, I believe this is your car sir.”  As he walked over a group of guys blurted out “NICE CAR BUDDY!!!”  “Its his…as of right now.”  And with that I put the keys in his hand and shook the other.

            He spent the next 5 minutes in awe.  So much so that the airport police told us we had to leave and I had to drive because he hadn’t driven stick in a few years.  I drove it like I owned it…but I definitely gave the car an opportunity to show what it could do.

            We pulled up outside my girlfriends condo downtown.  I showed him how to work everything and paired his phone.  I gave him a few recommendations on places to eat in town if he was hungry and pointed him in the direction of the interstate to get driving to his sisters wedding.  “How will you get home sir?” he said as I closed the door from outside.

            “Actually I’m going to walk home…I quit this morning.  This is the last car I will ever sell.  I made you a promise 3 months ago and have been waiting for this day.  Now have a safe trip home Marine, enjoy your family.” 

After a few “seriously!??!” comments and he realized I was serious about the whole deal he got out of the car, walked around to my side and gave me what I can only describe as the most profoundly grateful handshake I have ever had. 

As I walked the few blocks back to my apartment I heard the sound of a 5.0 V8 coming dangerously close to the redline and a less than perfect shift into 3^rd disappear onto the onramp of the interstate.

Months later when he was home for good, I got a sheepish text from him asking how to reset his phone in the car.  He apparently didn’t feel right calling the dealership and asking them how to do it.  Honestly, I was just glad to hear the guy was home safe so I had no problem helping out one last time.

So why post this in this blog?  Its simple, integrity.  I worked in an industry where everyone…I mean EVERYONE thinks you’re a crook or you’re lying.  It is one of the reasons I got so angry all the time.  When I told them something I wasn’t lying…it was the truth, but was called a liar on an hourly basis in many different ways.  Other salespeople may not have had the integrity to do the right thing and help this kid buy the car.  It took months, logistics were a nightmare, and I jumped through more hoops than any other deal I did as a car salesman.  But at the end of the day I made that Marines dream come true and his family got a moment that can never be recreated.  Me…the lying cheating no good car salesman…a man of integrity did that.  Whenever I think back to all the horrible things I experienced in my time as a car salesman they all go away when I think of that black on black California special Mustang GT.

Packing Heat at work

            Several years ago I got my concealed carry permit.  For the sake of this blog we’ll glass over the reasons why I have it to avoid some political issues.  …after all it’s a blog about sales, and its free…so you’ll get what you pay for.

            When I interviewed at the Ford dealership I worked at for a few years I had just started carrying my pistol every day.  Not only did I interview with a loaded handgun but when I filled out all the HR paperwork I used my CCW permit as a second form of ID.  (It was still in the stage where you feel like everyone should know you carry a firearm)

            After a few months most of the people at the dealership knew I always had a loaded gun on me.  When we had unruly customers or “shady” visitors in the dealership I found myself becoming increasingly more popular to talk to. 

            A few of my managers gave me grief for having it and I jokingly replied, “I do the one thing your mom told you NEVER do repeatedly ALL DAY…get into cars with strangers!”  We all kind of laughed it off and it was no big deal for 98% of the people I worked with.  As a matter of fact many of my co-workers mentioned how glad a “level headed” guy had a gun in the dealership should anything go horribly wrong.

            Rather than breaking these stories out into individual blogs I’ll just sum up the highlights of carrying a loaded firearm into work.

NSA CUSTOMER:

A self proclaimed “NSA Contractor” customer who told me on the test drive his previous job included “jumper cables, sponges, a metal folding chair, and a car battery” was giving me the run around one night.  He claimed he didn’t have credit because he was a ghost in another country and yadda yadda… 

We finally get ready to sit down an talk numbers on the used, high mileage, Volvo SUV he fell in love with and he says, “Before we begin…you need to realize you don’t know what I have under the table.”  And he motioned down with his eyes as he leaned back with a smirk and crossed his legs.

At first I thought the guy was referring to his penis.  (not kidding)  But after a few seconds and a few other leading comments I realized he was indicating he had a firearm.  I laughed and said, “Are we really playing ‘what are we packing’ at the dealership?”

His grin turned into a smile.  I said, “I’ve got 15 and 1 of 120 grain 9mm Hornady Critical Defense +P…what do you have?”  (serious business with lots bullets)  His grin disappeared and he shrank a little in his seat.   “I’ve got 7 rounds of 380…” (might do some damage if you hit the right spot at close range) 

We ended up not coming to terms because he had no credit…and no money to put down on the car.  If I had to guess it was a guy who’s wife and kids were out of town and he wanted to play badass at a dealership.

ANGRY COP

            I got pulled over while on a test drive with a family in an Explorer Sport.  The cop had been pulling over anyone without a tag from out dealership all week and I guess it was my turn to get caught.

            When he approached the car I had my window down and told him I was the salesman.  He angrily instructed me to head to the back of the vehicle, and I complied. 

            Now when you have a concealed carry you’re obligated to notify law enforcement you have a weapon immediately.  Once you tell them you have a weapon, and don’t make sudden movements, you’re also obligated to comply with their commands.  These can include everything up to being temporarily put into handcuffs.

            “GOD DAMNIT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW STUPID YOU ARE!?!?!?!”  he had apparently been building up a head of steam and started to vent.  “I told you guys to put dealer plates on these cars…”

            Every time he took a breath I put my hand up, as if to speak, and said “Officer…I need…” and he went back into his tyrade.  After 4 or 5 attempts to speak while he threatened to do all kinds of things that would suck I finally gently placed my hand on his shoulder.  “Officer, I’m legally obligated to tell you I have my concealed carry on my right hip…its loaded…and my permit is in my front jacket pocket.  How would you like to proceed?”

            He literally locked up for a few seconds.  When he finally processed I hadn’t been arguing with him this whole time I was trying to tell him I had a loaded gun on me his tone changed.  “Get in the car.  Drive back to the dealership…now.”

            We got back to the dealership and I introduced him to my “evil” manager who got the ass chewing of a lifetime.  When the cop came out I stopped him and apologized for our interaction and thanked him for not writing me a ticket. 

            My “evil” manager asked how I got out of the ticket everyone else in the dealership had got that month.  “Easy, I told him what I legally had to tell him and he let me off.” 

            “What did you ‘have’ to tell him?”  He asked in a snarky and condescending tone.  I replied, “That I have a concealed firearm that’s loaded…”  and with that my “evil” managers face went white.  My “good” manager let out a belly laugh and said, “You moron…Trowbridge is always packin’ heat…you can see it when his shirt comes untucked!!!”

FIRED PTSD CO-WORKER

            This one pisses me off to this day.  But they fired, for the second or third time, a guy in my department.  He was definitely a bit “off” and had a military background.  He claimed to be special forces but many of us had our doubts based on things he said.

            One day I was delivering a car and I get a call from my General Manager.  “Justin, do you have your gun on you today?”  I replied “yes”  “…does ______ have a gun that you know of?”  He in fact had a handgun in his truck.  “…where are you by the way?”

            I found out when I got back that my co-worker had been fired.  Not “let go” but shit canned…hard…and with no remorse.  HR was there because it was a bad situation all around.  My genius GM wanted me back in the dealership to protect the place should he return with his gun.

            After I regained the ability to speak I told him “I don’t like you well enough to shoot my former co-worker to protect your ass.  If you have a problem or a concern like that CALL THE POLICE FIRST!!!!”

            After they fired my co-worker they went to a “gun free zone” and almost lost half of the people who worked there.  My somewhat unstable co-worker has been rehired and refired a few times from there as well.

            The crazy part of it all was the times I really struggled to connect to my customers the subject that dropped the walls was firearms.  It could have been anything from hunting to handguns to carrying concealed…but when it came time to talk about firearms I sold a car.  A few of my customers even sent me photos of their latest purchases after they were driving the car for a few months!

            The lesson learned here is to never underestimate the person on the other side of the table.  I found out that more often than I expected I was dealing with an armed person.  It may have been the location in somewhat rural Nebraska, but there are a lot of people who support the second amendment.  Sometimes its best to treat everyone you meet like they’re packin’…you might get an unexpected sale out of the conversation.

The power of merchandising, and a scary looking power tool

            In my time as a wine and spirit distributor I had a blast merchandising my territory to sell more alcohol.  Its no surprise the reason Budweiser sells so much beer is because everywhere you look you see their logos.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the more your brands are seen in a location the more likely they will be purchased, and then reordered by your customer.

            With that in mind I started to cover my territory with point of sale materials.  At one point I was actually yelled at for taking out too much point of sale materials from the warehouse!  My manager at the time laughed and told the vice president who wanted to write me up “you’re going to write him up for doing what nobody else is doing?”  and after a long pause the subject was dead.

            He was right, we had TONS of stuff sitting in the warehouse collecting dust that nobody was using.  So, being a resourceful person, I started taking everything I could get my hands on and using it to promote my stuff.

            One of my favorite accounts was a marina on the river just north of town.  The place wasn’t much to look at but it was a great summer hangout for locals and boaters going up and down the river.  They sold a ton of drinks and until I showed up hadn’t really had anyone supporting them from my company.

            I brought up anything island themed I could find in the warehouse.  Fake palm trees, inflatable beach balls, necklaces, blinking lights, you name it.  The industry term for some of the smaller items is/was “trinkets and trash” by the way.  I billed out a few bar kits with other supporting items like shirts and table tents.

            After I get their attention they let me decorate the entire bar with whatever I wanted!  They were selling my stuff like it was going out of style and the orders were starting to show it.

            I billed out a few bar mirrors and took them up with a box of 6” long deck screws.  As I was driving in the screws with my cordless drill the owner came up.  “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!”  I finished the one screw I was working on and turned to her.

            “I figure someone is going to steal these mirrors…they’re nice right?”  She nodded.  “So…if some drunk wants to back 36 inches of deck screws with a dime or their bare fingers…they can have this.”  With that the shocked look on her face turned into a smile and she began to laugh.

            “You’ve got a point!”  and with that she walked off to tell the rest of the staff the story.

            After a few bar parties and a few weeks of proving I was there to stay it came time to pitch the big pitch.  They finally trusted me with their signature drink recipe and wanted to see if we could make it cheaper for them.  In their hay days they would take 55 gallon trash cans and mix up 5-6 at a time to keep up with demand.

            I worked out the numbers and grabbed my Black & Decker reciprocating saw with a 10” blade on it.  The day I decided to make the big pitch I happened, not entirely on accident, to show up when my biggest competitor showed up.  I was planning on stealing one of his biggest accounts for rum.  At the time they happened to use Captain Morgan Parrot Bay for their coconut flavored rum…I sold Malibu.

            I sauntered into the bar and saw my competitor walking through a normal shelf order, a few bottles here and there.  After nodding to him I pulled up a chair at the bar and pulled out my reciprocating saw and dropped it on the bar.  I went about my business and ignored the two of them while he hurried up his final few points.  He made a back handed comment about my saw and left, seemingly unconcerned about what I was doing.

            The bar manager asked “What the hell is that for?” and I told him not to worry about it.  I went about pointing out the half empty bottles on the bar and seeing what he needed.  “No, seriously…what the hell is that for?”  He kept breaking the conversation to ask, each time I pushed on with the normal order.  “DAMNIT…WHAT IS THAT THING DOING ON MY BAR!?!?!” 

            I smiled and said “Well you know what this is right?”

            “Yeah, it’s a Black & Decker power saw…”  I slapped the tool like it was a good dog.

            “And how did you know what it was?”  I asked.

            “Everybody knows Black & Decker…its one of the biggest names in power tools…”  I nodded.

            “So if everybody knows the quality, the reputation, and the pedigree that comes with this brand what does it say about someone who uses it?”  I asked.

            “It means you know what the f*@k you’re doing…”  I smiled.

            “So if you use a knock off brand what does that make you?”  and with that I leaned in to hear his response.

            “It means you’re a moron…”  he threw back with an indignant tone in his voice.

            “Ok…so if all that’s true…why are you NOT putting Malibu Coconut rum in your main drink?  It’s the original coconut rum everyone knows…”  and in the middle of the somewhat corny response his jaw went slack.  “Captain Morgan is a cheap knock off brand that imitates Malibu.  I know it, you know it, your customers now it.  If they cost the same per ounce what would you choose?  Better yet, if I could get you a better deal on the original brand and support it with island themed signs and other fun stuff for the bar do you think you’d sell more?”

            I’ll spare you how the rest of this interaction went and get to the punch line.  The next week the very same VP who wanted to write me up for taking out too much point of sale materials called me to make sure I hadn’t made a huge mistake on an order.  “Justin I’m looking at 3 ½ pallets of product going to a Marina in your territory…did you mean to put in bottles and instead hit cases?  We need to cancel this order before it goes out!” 

            I wish I could have been there to see the look on his face when I said, “Nope…no mistake…all $12,000 of that order needs to ship.  They’re on the way with 3 trucks now to pick it up.  We may need a refill by the end of the summer too.”  My little stunt with the power saw had sealed the deal to switch over everything in the bar they could to me.  I went from 15% market share in the bar to 75% or more because of the volume we were now doing.

            Unfortunately the bar ended up on some hard times later that summer.  The owners son was found dead in the bed of his pickup truck, he had aspirated on his own vomit.  The bar manager who was sleeping with the owner had ran off and the “kids” who ran the bar had left without warning.  1/3 of the order had to come back to avoid losing it to the bank in the bankruptcy.

            The VP never got on my case for merchandising again.  Suppliers actually started asking me what I wanted to put up in my territory directly!  Never underestimate the power of brand awareness.

The virtues of selling on value vs. price.

            When I was working for New York Life Insurance Company I had a client who gave me a whole new perspective in one case.  The perspective he gave me has changed the way I sold things from that day forward.  Its also changed the way I purchase things on my own behalf.

            I’ll spare you the details but I lucked into having a client who needed a long term care insurance policy.  Long term care, for those who don’t know, is a policy that pays for your nursing care in your later years.  Its cheaper to have you stay in your home than a skilled nursing center so these policies and companies fight to keep you at home as long as you can.  There are even tax incentives to make purchasing one of these policies more appealing.

            This particular client was someone who knew me from when I was a kid.  Honestly, I think he took the meeting because he wanted to help my career out and I was the rookie.  Regardless of the outcome I knew the experience would help me grow as an agent.

            I’ve always been a fan of being an expert in what your good at.  If you’re not an expert, know someone who is and get them involved when you’re out of your depth.  Nobody will ever complain you brought a specialist in to work on something important to get right.  Our office had a long term care (LTC) specialist and I brought her in to help me work the case.

            When we sat down with the client and his wife she instantly started to go through her somewhat scripted process.  She normally worked with clients who could afford the policies but were more focused on the daily aspects of living.  This particular client had been a CEO for years and was the President of a company at the time.

            When she started asking questions designed to illustrate a gap in your current plan her presentation fell apart.  “If you were sick where would you go?”  Most people respond with “a doctor” but this guy responded with a specific doctors name.  “If your house had mold what would you do?”  Most people would call a mold specialist, however, this client had a general handyman he had worked with for years and used his name.  “If your car was broken where would you take it?”  Again, the obvious answer is “a mechanic” but he not only said the specific dealership name but the salesman who handled things like this for him. 

            After some laughing at how “squared away” he was she was afraid to read her final question.  I knew there was one more question because I could see it on her printed notes in front of her.  I stepped in at this point, “Lets assume you didn’t have these contacts or knew exactly where to go to solve a problem…wouldn’t it be worth while to have someone you trust give you direction?”  He got where she was going and we got back on track.

            After laying out how the policies work and what was covered we came to the dreaded “money” question.  “Now, we agree these are valuable features in the policy, right?”  You could hear how uneasy she was after being thrown off her script.  “How much would you be willing to invest in a policy like this?”  And with that she sat quiet.

            For those of you who don’t know this rule its an amazing technique.  When you’re negotiating and you lay out your solution, whatever it is, stop talking.  “The first person to talk looses.” Was what an old sales manager once told me.  He and I stared at a piece of paper, with a customer, in total silence, for 45 minutes once.  The customer ended up buying the car and I learned a huge lesson on the “hard sale”.

            However, this wasn’t your easily closed client.  He thought about it, I think he recognized the technique, and then after a few seconds said.  “If its worth it, I’ll pay it.”  I was surprised to hear that come out of his mouth but I began to understand it.  Meanwhile my “specialist” restated the question and fumbled through trying to get a number commitment.  “Look, I don’t want my children to have to take care of me and my wife when we’re older.  This policy does that and more.  If you can show me enough value in the policy, I don’t care what it costs…because its worth it.”

            After I picked up the ball from where my slack jawed “specialist” left things we concluded our meeting and agreed to meet up again in a week with our solution.  We went back into our cubicle bullpen for new agents and began to recap the meeting.

            A few days go by and we meet to go over the plan.  She had 3 plans laid out that were a few hundred dollars a month and fairly modest benefit periods.  I had played around with the software and knew there was an “Unlimited/Unlimited” option for the policy.  Basically, the policy paid out unlimited funds for an unlimited benefit period.  If you triggered the policy you were taken care of in the very best way possible. 

            “Lets show them that…its what he wants”  We argued for a half an hour and she was afraid to scare him out of the room with the premiums.  The premiums were more than some mortgage payments, but the value was there.

            I knew my cohort would chicken out so I printed out the unlimited/unlimited policy information.  We went in and sure enough, she presented the smaller policies.  The client had a look of disappointment on his face and it felt like he was choosing the lesser of the three evils put in front of him.  “There is one more option I want to show you.  In my opinion this is the highest bang for your buck in a policy like this.”  I explained how the unlimited/unlimited policy worked while my “specialist” shook in her boots.  I finished up going over the policy and said, “Was I correct in thinking that the kind of value you were looking for in a policy?”

            Immediately after I finished my sentence he looked at his wife and smiled.  “This means we’re taken care of until we die and the kids don’t have to take care of us unless they want to.  That’s what we talked about right?”  She had tears in her eyes and held his hand and nodded.  He looked back at me and said “Yup…lets write it up”.

            With my first long term care sale I was the salesman of the month in our region.  It was my ONLY long term care sale in my time there, but still.  It was a huge victory for a rookie agent.

            The lesson I learned was to sell based on the value of a product, not the price.  The more value you build in something the harder it is to say “no” to.  Admittedly, I got lucky with this instance by having someone who could afford the policy, but the premise is the same. 

            As I went on from the insurance world I found myself doing everything I could to add value to what I was selling.  Occasionally I would lose a customer or client in a price battle.  But they were typically difficult people who weren’t worth the extra time and effort to appease for no money.  The people who bought from me bought the value I showed them and subsequently brought me more business.  That’s right, I charged them more than my competitors and they brought me more people to sell to.  The experience and the value they found in me was worth the price they had to pay.

            I’ve found myself buying things with the same mentality.  If its worth it, I’m going to pay more for it.  Ironically when I buy a cheap(er) version of the big ticket item I’m looking at I’m always disappointed.  But knowing I’m buying a lower value proposition makes it easier to accept the negative aspects and move on.

Bipolar manager who loved to hate

            Of all the managers I’ve ever had, the all time worst manager I’ve had almost killed me.  I know you may think that’s a figure of speech but I mean it in a literal sense.  The managerial style of this man was so far out of whack that I began to respond to it physically, and my health declined.

            It all started off well, nothing out of the ordinary and I kind of enjoyed the way we interacted.  As time went on and the “honeymoon” phase of being the new hire wore off the reality set in.  As time went on it grew worse and worse and there wasn’t much we, as a sales staff, could do.

            There are so many examples of how terrible this guy was that I could write a whole series of stories about him in this blog.  Having just written that I may have to do that as part of my ongoing process of moving on from this nightmare.

            In the car business, as a salesman,  you have to bring your deals to the sales manager when you’re working them.  The process starts with filling out a worksheet on your customer.  Once you’ve got all the pertinent information you take it to your manager and they go to work.

            “Oh my god…what do you want?” he would say.  “You’re ruining my life…why are you up here again?!?”  Once you handed him the worksheet his demeanor would change.  “Ok…cool…well lets work and get you a car deal.”  He would pencil the details on the sheet and hand it back.  “Here you go, you got this you can do it.”  And then you’d walk back to your customer.

            Ninety percent of America realizes the first offer from a dealership is designed to put you on the ceiling.  Its so far from what  you asked if anyone took the first pencil you knew there was a bigger problem waiting down the line.  You did what we were trained to do and get an offer, sometimes with a check in hand.

            “How’d you do?” he would say as he read the paper you handed him with the new offer.  “Oh my god…this is pathetic!  That’s the best offer you can get from this customer?!?  Do you want me to get a real salesman to go over and fill out the order form?”  Sometimes he would grab a salesman working another deal and “jokingly” ask if he could step in and close the deal. 

            After some scribbling and some number crunching he would hand the paper back.  “Ok…you’ve got a car deal here you just need to get their thinking up a little from this offer.  You’re close and you can do this.”  And with that he’d send you back.

            After yet more negotiation with the customer you’d head back up to the “tower of power” for more bludgeoning from him.  “Holy catfish!  You’re doing a great job representing the customer today…you know we’d like to make some money here.”  It was at this point, by the prescribed procedural guidelines he had the option of stepping in and working with the customer himself.  Sometimes he would grab one of the newer sales managers to do it for him.  “Can you go sell this guy a car…he apparently can’t do it.  Get out of my face.” 

            So now, assuming he got off his ass and didn’t take a phone call from his wife in the middle of the deal, he’s walking in to work with your customer.  The same customer who you’ve been telling him “$10,000 down and $1500 a month is the best we can do” when they asked for zero down and $500 a month for 60 months.

            He would walk in with a big cheesy smile and a token laugh at a bad joke.  He would make small talk about anything obvious and then act like he’d never seen the numbers in his hand.  As the salesman you were required to sit there and not say a word.  Frequently, you were standing behind him looking like a moron staring at his chicken scratches.

            “So if I could get you close to that $500 a month for 60 months would you buy the car today?”  The would obviously shake their head “yes” and he’d say.  “Ok, let me go to work for you and see if we can make that happen.”  And we’d walk back up to the tower.

            “God damn it why didn’t you do _______” was usually the first thing he said.  Ironically followed by “They’re nice people though…you’ve got a car deal here…hang in there.”  If there was an attractive woman in the mix he would make a comment about having her move in with him in the small town he lived in. 

            In the final stages of the deal he would sometimes tell you to “write it up ya big softie” and you’d go write up the deal.  Other times he would take another stab at the customer to ultimately find a middle ground.  Regardless of how the deal was struck as you gathered the 15 different forms to put the deal together every time you walked within ear shot he would make a cutting remark about how worthless you were.

            This happened every time you had to work a deal with him.  It took different forms when you had to interact with him on different things as well.  Ultimately I was so enraged by the way he treated me I was drinking the 5 Hour energy sleep aide in the middle of the day to calm down. 

            There were half a dozen times where, in an argument started by him, I found myself gnashing my teeth and with a white knuckled fist repeating, “You can’t hit him…you can’t hit him.” 

            In the car business it’s a dog eat dog world, there’s no getting around this.  But the difference between horsing around and poking fun at your buddy and managerial bullying is night and day.  For one month I chose to only respond to him with “yes” or “no”.  Anything else was in as few words as possible. 

            Because I wouldn’t engage with his crap he would try it and it wouldn’t go anywhere.  It infuriated him so much he began to badger me when I was away from him.  By not engaging in the bashing and berating behavior from him and waiting to work deals with the other managers I found a loophole.

            That month was the salesman of the month and sold the most cars in my career.  I sold them to spite my manager and the hatred of this man drove me in a way that was scary.

            This was also the month I was pulled over on a test drive and got out of it when I disclosed to the officer I had my concealed carry on me.  That’s right, I carried a loaded 9mm handgun on me at the dealership from my interview until the day they banned it.  When I got back he was giving me shit about the ordeal and asked how I got out of it.  “You’re not that good of a salesman so how did you get out of the ticket?”  I smiled and told him “I told him what I was legally obligated to tell him…I have a concealed carry, its loaded, and my permit is in my wallet.”

            The look on his face was priceless when I showed him the imprint of my handgun on my shirt.  My used car manager at the time was a close friend of mine and belly laughed.  “You dumbass, he’s been packing since he started!  Trowbridge is always strapped!  You might want to lay off him in the future too you jackass!”  He did for a few weeks but went right back to it.

            I’ve run into dozens of people who worked with this man over the years.  Almost every single one of them has similar stories.  The part that really disturbed me was that he was a sponsor for AA.  Someone trying to get their life back in line had this asshole to rely on when they were fighting their demons.  It makes me sick just thinking about it.  I will always remember working with him…and I’ll always remember how NOT to manage people.

A good story and some help from Andrew Jackson

            Sometimes all you need to do is give someone a good story.  This is especially true when you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t seem to understand the situation.  Sadly, this happens a lot in the auto industry.

            When I was working for a local Ford dealership as an Internet Sales Manager I worked with all kinds of people.  No two days were ever the same and it was a great experience if you had the desire to work with people.  Sometimes your customers were amazing and you ended up becoming great personal friends even after the sale.  Other times you wanted to vomit whenever you heard their name.

            One day I got an internet lead on a guy who wanted to buy a Platinum package F-150.  This is a $56,000 truck and usually means one of two things.  You have a kid who’s dreaming big and you’re in for a nightmare of a deal.  Or, you have someone who can afford it and they know exactly what they want.

            Luckily for me this was the latter of the two.  He turned out to be an Airman stationed at the local Air Base and was about to go to flight school.  He wanted to buy the truck before he left for training.  This was an easy transaction because we participated in USAA pricing for active military.  (something I helped push through)

            He showed up and spent 2 hours going over the features of the truck, checking out small details, and driving it.  I could tell this was the right truck for him and he was excited about it.  However, I could see there was something afoot with this deal that wasn’t evident just yet.

            “Ok…I’ll talk to you later then!”  And he walked away toward his car, out of nowhere.  This is the ultimate nightmare for any car sales person.  Your “Up” (prospective customer) is leaving the property without talking to someone else…which meant you’re going to be humiliated publicly by your manager.  I finally stopped him in the middle of the drive and asked where he was going.  “Oh its no big deal…I just need to crunch some numbers and think about it for a day.”

            I’ll spare you the boring details but he ended up leaving after we worked up some numbers.  The entire time he was about as readable as wet toast.  After a while I gave up and let him go, the guy was just done talking.

            After my day off I walked into the dealership to find my buddy Jason had worked with the airman yesterday.  This happens all the time and now both of us are on the line to close the deal to get HALF of the money.  Jason was a pretty stand up guy so I knew he had done everything on the up and up so I didn’t have to worry.  “That dude was hard to read!  He came in all excited and then just kinda went limp…what the hell?”

            Over the next two weeks Jason and I effectively “tag teamed” this guy with emails, phone calls, and yet more visits to the dealership.  Each time the guy just wanted to drool over the truck and learn more about some bizarre detail that nobody ever cares about.  I honestly think he asked if the lug nuts were right hand thread at one point…but I got so zoned out talking to him its all a blur.

            Finally, one day Jason and I have the guy in the dealership and he’s starting to show signs of life.  We decided the best way to handle it was to work the deal together.  After 5 hours of the two of us in a small room with this guy we’re at the end of the deal.  We had stripped out everything and given up more ground on this truck than we thought was possible.  We had so much time invested in this guy we weren’t going to let him go this time.

            Our boss on the final pencil had told me, “if he doesn’t take this deal…get his ass out of here.”  He was as done dealing with this guy as Jason and I were.  At this point Jason and I were looking at a commission of $150 for a truck with an MSRP of $56,000.  Oh yeah…and we had to split the $150 for the last 3 weeks of work.

            “Well this is it…we’re done dealing.  There is nothing left in this deal.  We’re literally at the take it or leave it stage.”  I said.

            “I still feel like I should get something for free”  He said as I grinded my teeth and tried not to come over the table at this guy.  After even more deliberation and long drawn out awkward pauses he finally began to sign his name.  Jason and I glanced at each other in astonishment.

            He started to write the vertical part of an “A” in the first part of his name, then stopped and dropped the pen.  “I’m sorry guys I know $14,000 off the sticker is a hell of a deal but I feel like I need something for free here.  Oil changes or a gift card or something…”  It took everything I had to not slap this guy at this point.

            “Ok…the dealership is done dealing at this point.  Jason and I are all that’s left holding this deal together.  I’ll tell you what…”  I pull out my wallet.  “I’ll give you $20 from my own pocket if you shut up and sign your name.”  With that I pulled out a crisp $20 bill and laid it on the table.  “You’ll be the only guy you know who has the story about a car salesman giving you $20 to take a crazy deal like this.  But I want you to promise me some referrals so I can make my $20 back.”

            Jason was sitting on a file cabinet and had a look on his face that I’ll never forget.  To his credit, he didn’t say a word, which made the gesture even more powerful.

            After some awkward laughter from the guy he signed the paperwork and took the deal.  We got everything done and punted him down the road as quickly as possible.  Jason took the lead while I spewed profanity in the back.

            I realized all this guy wanted was a story.  His own story was pretty bland and other than being a fighter pilot he had nothing.  The truck he bought was his way of stepping up to the image of a fighter pilot.  He worked the deal not based on financials but on building a story he could tell the guys in his unit.

            Jason and I talked later and he was shocked I paid the guy.  When he asked me why I did it I told him.  “We were already making a split mini so the money wasn’t a factor.  However, I’m getting close to a $500 volume bonus for the month and this ½ deal could be the thing that puts me over the top.”  Jason nodded and agreed it was a good call…ballsy…but a good call.  “Plus, we’re finally done with that guy and can spend more time on other customers!”

            I ended up making my volume bonus later that month by…you guessed it…1/2 a car deal.  However the bonus I made was the second tier bonus that paid me a second $500.  As for our customer he left the state and we never heard from him again.  The last contact we had with him was on the Ford Survey they send out on new vehicle purchases.  If you can believe it the guy burned us on the survey because the process took too long.

How to beat the house...with technolgy.

    

This is one of my favorite “get even” stories.  When I was running my own business development company one of my clients ran an online gaming site.  The site didn’t use real money so you could gamble legally on it.  It was a loophole to be sure but the owner was proud of it.

            I came up with the idea of connecting the website to the casino’s on the river.  They had hosted events for me in the past and the connection was a no brainer.  If the casino advertised on the site it could put a ton of cash in our pockets at the same time.

            So with that I approached a marketing contact I had for the casino.  I told him about the site and how we were a legal gaming website in Nebraska who wanted to cross promote with their location.  At first he was excited to see what we came up with and gave me a ton of information on how the non gaming elements of the casino worked.

            The part he was most excited about was our ability to track emails.  My client owned an email program that not only tracked the open/read status of an email but could tell you who they forwarded it to, when they opened it, what links they clicked on, the associated IP addresses, and even the number of times you opened it.  When it came to generating a true ROI this program was amazing.

            At the end of our meeting he asked me to present a few ideas to them for review and then they would get back to us.  Whenever a meeting goes this well I tend to get a little excited and had 15 to 20 ideas within a few hours.  It didn’t hurt that I could also tie in several of my other clients into the promotions and double down on the exposure.

            After I narrowed the ideas down to 10 or so I sent him my standard non-disclosure email.  The response I got back gave me that horrible “pit of the stomach” feeling.  “I won’t sign this.  We represent one of the largest Casino properties in the world…if you can’t trust us then I guess we’re done here.”  I called him shortly after my stream of profanity had ceased.

            “You guys are a Casino…you’d bleed me dry at a table and then take my home if you had the chance…of course I don’t trust you!”  After an awkward laugh from him he restated the disheartening news.  I was at an impasse with the proposal…until I realized I had the email program.

            I agreed to forgo the NDA and sent him my proposal.  I sent it to him with a few embedded links to the other companies in the mix.  Most importantly though, I sent it through our email tracking system.

            Four weeks go by and he’s only returned a few emails from me.  Most of them said “we’ve been busy but I’ll get to it next week…I promise”.  And finally after a month I called him.

            “Just wanted to follow up and see if you had a chance to review our proposal?” 

            “Ah man…I’ve been swamped with execs in from out of town.  I don’t think I’ve even had a chance to open the original document” he told me.

            “Really?  I think you opened it this morning at about 9:35am from this IP address.  (read him the IP)  Furthermore, that’s the 8^th time you’ve opened it since I sent it.  You’ve also forwarded the email to these 7 email addresses (read the list).  Remember when I told you we could track emails to a scary level…this is the proof”    

            If you’ve never dropped a bomb on someone like this before it’s a life changing moment.  I could almost hear him crapping his pants as he had a heart attack.  The look of shock on his face during the dead silence on the phone must have been epic.  He hurriedly blurted out, “um…um…we’ve already thought of most of this and want to pass…goodbye”

            Now I’ll be the first person to admit I could have handled that better, but lets face it the guy lied to me.  I approached the meeting and subsequent proposal with the best of intentions and full disclosure.  I would have been fine if he declined my proposal based on any number of reasons, but he lied to me for over a month.

            The lesson learned here is to use the tools at your disposal very carefully.  Had I used a little more restraint I may have salvaged this proposal and made some money on the deal.  At the same time I feel lucky to not have done business with someone who has that little integrity and overall lack of business ethics.  From that moment on I sent every proposal through that system and took it very seriously when I was presented an NDA.

            On a final note I ran into this guy years later.  I have grown a full beard and lost a bunch of weight since then.  He came up to me at a city run convention and was trying to get me to stop by his booth.  After he hit me with his canned speech on the amazing things going on at his casino I smiled and said.  “Sure…will you sign my NDA first?”  The blood drained from his face and his smile evaporated.  He happened to be shaking my hand at the time and his grip went limp.  “Justin?” he muttered.  I nodded and he walked away.